Self-Doubt Debilitates Writers

 Writers face any number of hurdles on their writing journey. Some are harder to vault over than others. One of them creeps up and whispers in the ear of many a writer. It's self-doubt. A nasty little bug that requires some time and effort to overcome.

Self-doubt can be debilitating. It tends to grow, become heavier, and put a pall on your day. 

Why do writers become victimes of self-doubt? It's almost hard not to have this problem when we look around and see all the wonderful publications in the book world, in magazines, and ezines. It's easy to suddenly wonder why so many are published on a frequent basis and we are not. Or perhaps not as often as hoped for. 

Writers are not all alike. What worries one does not give another pause. Some of us are frequent worriers, and that invites self-doubt right in the door. The fix? Stop worrying! Oh, if it was only that easy. To merely say it and worry magically disappears. Instead, it is a slow process of reminding yourself about your good points in your writing life and looking back at what you've accomplished over the years. Our poster for today addresses this quite well. Keep in mind that it is not an instant cure but a slow process that we must work on continuously. 

Why do some people deal with self-doubt more than others? Look back into the growing-up years. If someone in the family, or a teacher, or a friend, belittled a person, self-doubt has a fine place to grow. If others criticize us for one thing or another, it's pretty easy to start doubting ourself. The ground work was laid, and we keep it going. Again, help yourself by dwelling on the helpful things in your writing life. 

Have a little talk with yourself. Think about your good qualities, your pluses in your writing journey. Remind yourself every day. Keep those positives alive and well. Doing this will crowd out the self-doubt. Have a personal pep talk meeting with yourself several times a week. It needs to be an ongoing process.

But what is that you're thinking? That you shouldn't brag about yourself. It's not nice to do that. If you're having coffee with four friends, it probably isn't the right place to do this. But, when it's only you, go right ahead. You're working on erasing self-doubt and pumping yourself up as you move down your writing path. 

Self-doubt is not a terminal disease. There are fixes, but it's up to you to address the problem. I cannot do it for you. Your friends cannot. Your family cannot. You are the one in charge. 

Be a Self-Confident Writer

 

Today's quote by Sylvia Plath says 'The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.' I agree with her. When a writer doubts him/herself's ability to write, it is often a one-way ticket to disaster. The more you doubt yourself, the worse it becomes. When you find yourself doubting your writing ability, it's time to wok on building your self-confidence. 

Remember back in grade school when the teacher gave you a bit of praise. You felt so good and were inspired to continue doing well in that subject. But, when the teacher scolded and told you to start doing better or you'd never have an A paper, you deflated pretty quickly. It felt like a black cloud was hovering over you all day, and you had no desire to do well in that subject. The teacher who praised helped build self-confidence in you, while the other one made you feel terrible about yourself.

What can you do to increase your self-confidence so that your writing world becomes a happy place? A few suggestions follow:

A.  Read what other writer say about the craft. Read but also believe. Don't take the attitude that what the other writer says is fine for other people, but I'll never be able to do what they say. Believe in what successful writers tell you. 

B.  Besides believing in what other writers say, start believing in yourself. An attitude of "I can do this" will take you a long way. A negative attitude will only dig the self-doubt hole deeper. Think about what made you start writing and keep it in mind.

C.  Start and finish a writing project. Key word here is 'finish' If you start myriad pieces but finish none, you'll have a hard time staying confident in your abilities.

D.  Get feedback from other writers. When you submit a piece, ask them what they like, where they think you might improve, and any other suggestions. You're sure to get some remarks about what the person who critiqued your work liked as well as tips for making it a better story or essay. The positive comments can help boost your self-confidence. (Note to those who critique:  Always make as many positive comments as possible)

E.  Muffle your inner critic. We can be very adept at tearing ourselves down. You've been there with thngs like 'what a piece of junk this is' or 'who in the world is going to thnk this is any good?' or 'why am I even trying?' Don't listen to that voice in your head that delights in telling you things that will sink you into that self-doubt hole. You can turn off the tv and the radio, so learn to turn off that inner critic, too. 

F.  Set small, realistic goals and meet them. Don't set a goal to write a novel in three months. Set a goal of x number of chapters this month. Don't set a goal of submitting to twenty publishers this month. Make it two or three. 

G.  Celebrate small victories. No accomplishment in your writing life is to be ignored. Keep a list of those winning moments. Read that list as a good reminder.

H.  A lack of confidence can come from a lack of knowledge. You can fix that by taking time to read and learn more about the craft of writing.

I.  Make a list of your strengths in writing. Add to it when you can. Don't only create the list, read it now and then to remind yourself. 

J.  Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself that you are a writer, that you are continuing to learn your craft, and that you will write as well as you can every day. 

Key to being a self-confident writer is to build yourself up instead of tearing yourself down. 

Writers--Self-Doubt Is Your Enemy

Self-doubt is the subject of today's poster. Who should we blame for self-doubt? There's a clue in the first part of the word. Self! No one else sprinkles you with this debilitating characteristic. It's not the fault of an editor or another writer or those who critique your work.

Nope. Anyone who suffers from this problem can blame only one person. Look in the mirror and you will see the person who sowed the seeds of self-doubt, nurtured them, and watched them grow. Harsh words perhaps, but to overcome this problem, you need to face facts.

How do we let self-doubt begin? We use the words of an editor or a person who critiques our work hurt us, pull us down, and make us feel unworthy. Instead, we should heed the words as a lesson to be learned. These people are not attempting to bat us down. On the contrary. Their intention is to help us see what needs to be worked on, how we can become stronger and better writers. That only works if we, as writers, accept it as meant.

Attitude plays a major role here. If your outlook is that every person who critiques your work is intent on making you feel like you are a terrible writer, then you definitely will feel that way. If you think that editors and critiquers are trying to push you out of the writing business, then you may soon convince yourself that you should quit. Stop where you are on your writing journey and return to square one. 

I feel sorry for any writer who thinks like that. You become your own worst enemy. With each new critique or comment from an editor, you push yourself deeper into the hole of self-doubt. Next comes self-pity. Believe me when I tell you that the only one who comes to a pity party is you, and it can be pretty lonely. 

Beginning writers are of two types--those who are inspired and passionate, ready to conquer the world of writing and those who are scared to death, worrying that they are not good enough to be a real writer. The second group begins with self-doubt. What do you think will happen as time goes on? They will feed it and allow it to become more and more worrisome. They may even develop that dreaded disease called Writer's Block. 

How do you stop doubting yourself? Try the following:

A.  List your successes, not your failures. Every writer has failures now and then, but it doesn't mean you are a bad writer. It means you need to work on the problem areas, learn all you can from reading about your craft, and take the words of a critique person as an aid in learning.

B.  Go to that mirror again. Look into it and repeat over and over something like "I am a writer. I will be a better writer. I will learn from my mistakes." Say it often enough, and you'll begin to believe it.

C.  Accept praise when it is given. Do NOT put yourself down when someone compliments you on your writing. Be happy and thankful for any compliments given.

D.  Keep a journal and write something good about your writing life every day. Dwell on the positives. Once a week, read all you have written for that week. 

E.  Believe that all writers can improve their writing. Because there is room to be a better writer does not mean you are a bad writer. Not at all.

Don't let self-doubt become an enemy to your creativity. Remember that YOU are the one who is in control. You have a choice every day. Tear yourself down or lift yourself up. The cure doesn't happen overnight. It's gradual, but any progress is helpful to the self-doubting writer.

 

Writers--Get Rid of Self-Doubt

Last night, Ken and I were watching tv, and a character on the show we had turned on made a statement that made me sit up and pay attention. She said, "Doubt is the driver of failure." 

Six words with a strong message. Look at it again--

Doubt is the driver of failure.

Looking through my collection of poster quotes this morning, I found one that seemed to work quite well as it not only spoke about doubting yourself but gave a suggestion to help you overcome that problem. 

Doubting yourself as a writer definitely is a problem. You will have to work at ridding yourself of doubting your own abilities a little at a time.

What causes self-doubt in a writer? It's not any one element. If you're a person who has dealt with self-doubt in other phases of your life, it's fairly easy to see how it can spill over into your writing life if you let it. The 'letting it' part is key. 

If rejections come in one after the other, you probably have a reason for doubting yourself. Remember this when each rejection comes in--it is not 'you' the editor is rejecting, and it may not have been because your writing was not up to their standards. There are many other reasons editors reject your work. Among them are too many submissions on the same subject or they had recently published something of the same kind, and it was too soon to repeat. So, don't immediately lay the blame at your own feet. 

Do you ever work hard on a story, then after proofreading, editing, and revising, you read through, and have a sinking feeling? Thoughts like This is not very good. Janice writes so much better than I do. Who would want to read this drivel? go through your head. Try not to believe them. If you do, you're going to have a much bigger hole to climb out of. 

Let's look at the advice in the poster today: 

When you start doubting yourself, 

remember how far you have come.

Remember everything you have faced,

all the battles you have won,

and all the fears you have overcome.

In other words, start patting yourself on the back. Work at lifting yourself instead of becoming mired in doubt. For every negative thought you have, counter with a positive one. Remember the story about the little engine who talked himself into being able to do what the big engines did by repeating over and over I think I can, I think I can, I think... Pretty simple but it could help. The more we hear something the more apt we are to start believing it. 

Don't let doubt be the driver to failure in your writing journey. Instead, look at those rejections as a lesson to learn. Analyze each one and try rewriting or subbing somewhere else. Last but not least, don't compare yourself to other writers. We're all individuals; we all reach our peak in different ways and in different amounts of time. 

Is doing all the above going to make your writing life perfect? No, but it could make it a whole lot better.

Self-Doubt and Writing

Read the poster quote three times. Now, sit back and ponder on that for however long it takes you to agree with what author, Sylvia Plath said. 

As writers, we are creative people. Go ahead and pat yourself on the back for that achievement. Not everyone can do what we do. Creative people tend to be self-doubters, and that includes artists, writers, and performers. The big question is Why?

If I had the answer to that question, I would write a book that you all would buy. I would be rolling in money, and you would be rid of all self-doubt. In a perfect world, that is.

Those of you who read this blog regularly know that I am a person who tries to look at the positive side of almost everything. So, my first suggestion is to make a list of all the positive things about your writing and the writing path you walk day after day. Don't be humble. List everything that is positive about you, the writer.

Then, make a list of the things you would like to change in your writing world. Looking at it with objective eyes, which ones are possible to change? Which ones are never going to change? Which will change if you make the changes?

Try another list. Put down all your publishing successes, whether it be a national magazine or a church newsletter. If you have two or more, give yourself another pat on the back. We know that our writing journey is taken in small steps. We don't reach the gold ring with one hop, skip, and jump. It takes time and hard work. Be a bit of an egotist if it helps. Just don't be an irritant to other people.

The last point I want to make for today is one you've heard from me more than once. You are the one who can make the changes. You are the person in charge. You can give yourself a boost, or you can tear yourself down and increase the self-doubt.

When Writers Doubt Themselves

Most writers live on an emotional roller coaster. They're up! They're down! Which place you are depends on whether your email box brings you rejections or acceptances. We hit the highs and lows day after day in our writing life. 

Too few acceptances or hating what you've written and Mr. Doubt moves into your house. He's there when you write. He's sitting on your countertop when you are preparing dinner for yourself or your family. He follows along behind you at the grocery store or in the mall. That's him running beside you on your morning run. Oh, he doesn't always say something to you but he lets his presence be known. You might have your mind on a dozen things tomorrow morning but Mr. Doubt is still your companion. 

You're the only one who can show this nasty person the door. Had Lady Macbeth been a writer, she might have shouted Out, out, damned Doubt!" Ok, I know that's a bad example but it popped into my mind so thought I'd go with it. The thing is that it's up to you to get rid of the doubt in your writing life. 

How? Today's poster gives you four ways you can approach the problem.

• Remember how far you've come from the day you started writing
• Remember all that you have faced in your writing world
• Remember the battles you've won and how you did it
• Remember the fears you've overcome and the good feeling you then had

Four ways to solve the self-doubt problem. You might create a list under each heading and add to it as you think of more points. Keep your list somewhere visible. When we're filled with self-doubt, we need all the reminders we can get. 

Mr. Doubt is not going to vanish in one day. The more you believe in yourself, the less you'll hear from him. Once you conquer the problem, he'll be out the door. But be careful. He may wait right outside hoping you will slide back again. Stay strong and ignore him. 

When the rejections pile is higher than the acceptances, it's hard to stay positive and ignore Mr. Doubt. We have all been there. This is where passion for writing comes in. Renew your passion in every way you can. Writers have great possiblities, despite the roller coaster ride we live on. Keep your eye on the highs, not the lows. 

How To Believe In Yourself

Writers are great self-doubters. We often have to work very hard to have a positive attitude and beleive we can write something worthy of publication. Even if we write a story, essay or poem that makes us feel like we've got something readers will like, that feeling might last only until we start looking for a market. Then our confidence level can go down slowly like a pin-pricked party balloon. When you start a writing project that is bigger than anything else you've tried, it's frightening and not a confidence booster.

This poster hits three good points, two of them being my own keywords:  Patience and Perseverance. The third one is believing those two keywords. Success in getting our work published certainly helps the belief part. It's more difficult to continue believing when we receive one rejection after another but it's not impossible. It's also not an easy task.

Here's the third poster that urges you to believe in yourself. If there are so many good quotes about doing so, it's pretty clear that it's important. You're probably thinking that it's easy for me to tell you to believe in yourself but how do you actually do it? 

I think the first thing to do is to get rid of the negative thoughts. When one comes along, push it away and replace it with something positive. Keep doing it and you might develop a habit of getting rid of the self-doubt. Not in two days but over time. It won't be easy but work at it.

Next, when you read over something you've written, look for the positives. Ask yourself What did I do well here? You've also got to look for the places that need work, as well but start with the good things first. 

Think about the pieces of writing that you're proud of. Aw c'mon--you know there are some writing projects that you felt especially good about. Believe that, if you wrote something really good once or more times, then you can do it again. 

If others compliment your writing abilities and/or publication successes, accept graciously and feel good about yourself. Do not put yourself down to others in a situation like this. Sure, your mother taught you to be humble but that's not for this situation. Each time someone compliments your writing or you see sales going up for a book you've written, it's another reason to believe in yourself. If others do, why shouldn't you? 

There is another factor that figures in for people who have trouble believing in themself. If you grew up in a family where someone, a parent or sibling, constantly told you that you were worthless, undeserving and more, it's not easy to overcome. You have to work harder than the average person to believe in yourself. Even so, you can do it if you work at it. You might even take an attitude of I'll show them! That could be very motivating. I've been there but I've moved beyond what I'd been told for so long and you can, too.

Slam the door on self-doubt. Acentuate the positive. Believe. Stop wallowing in the I can't... thoughts. Keep quotes on believing in yourself and read them often. Little by little, you can change.