Q & A With Kathleen Pooler, Memoir Writer Part 2

Here's Kathy with more answers to my questions. Below Part 2 of the interview, look for her bio and several links. Do take some time to click and visit her. I've been so pleased to  have Kathy as my Guest.

Nancy:  Did you find yourself reliving the abusive marriage times in your life as you wrote? If so, how did you handle it?

Kathy:  My first memoir was not the story I wanted or intended to write. I started out writing about being the mother of an alcoholic son. But when I sent my manuscript to a developmental editor, she strongly recommended that I had two memoirs, one about the emotional abuse and the other about my son. I then had to face all my vulnerabilities and flaws—why and how I got into two emotionally abusive marriages-- which was very difficult. There were many times when I had to put the manuscript aside, sometimes for months at a time. But the story kept nagging at me and I eventually finished it. And I will add that seeing it through helped me to heal from the guilt and shame I had carried around all those years. It also helped me to forgive those in my life whom I felt had hurt me. Most important, it helped me to forgive myself.

Nancy:  Did you ever want to quit writing the book? If so, what made you continue?

Kathy:  Indeed, there were times when I wondered if it was worth exposing such intimate details about my family life. I was especially concerned about the response of my first ex-husband, the father of my children. I consulted an attorney and prayed about it. One day a few months before it was published, I sat in church and had an overwhelming feeling come over me. I felt compassion for the young woman in my story (me). With that feeling came a renewed passion for telling my story to give others hope.

Nancy:  What are you working on now?

Kathy:  I am currently in the final editing phase of my second memoir, Daring to Hope: A Mother’s Journey to Healing From Cancer and Her Son’s Alcohol Addiction. I started writing vignettes about this story in 1999. So it’s been in the works for nineteen years.

 Nancy:  How soon do you expect the new book to be published?

Kathy:  By next year at this time, I hope to have it published. Maybe sooner. It all depends on how the revision process goes. When I’m done with this phase of my revision, I will print it out and have a red pen in hand to mark the areas that still need work. I’m in no hurry but I will feel good when it’s done.

Nancy:  What advice do you have to others who might like to write a memoir?

Kathy:  Read a lot of memoirs.

Study the art and craft of memoir writing. There are so many free resources online: The National Association of Memoir Writers (NAMW), The Memoir Network with Denis Ledoux, International Women’s Writer’s Guild (IWWG)

Facebook groups: Memories to Memoir with Cami Ostman, IWWG member group, NAMW, Gutsy Indie Publishers

Follow blogs: The Write Practice, Women’s Writing Circle with Susan Weidener, Writing Through Life with Amber Lea Starfire, Marion Roach, Memories and Memoir with Linda Joy Myer to name a few.

If you can, get to a writer’s conference. IWWG and Writer’s Digest Annual Conferences are my favorites.

And finally, if you want be a writer, you have to write and keep writing until it’s right. And don’t forget to be kind and gentle with yourself. Memoir writing is a daunting, often painful process but well worth it in terms of the healing and transformation that occurs within you.

Good Luck!

Bio:  Bio: Kathleen Pooler is an author and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner whose memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, published on July 28, 2014 and work-in-progress sequel, The Edge of Hope (working title) are about how the power of hope through her faith in God helped her to transform, heal and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointments:  domestic abuse, divorce, single parenting, loving and letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer and heart failure to live a life of joy and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories.

She lives with her husband Wayne in eastern New York.

         She blogs weekly at her Memoir Writer’s Journey blog: http://krpooler.com

Twitter @kathypooler

https://twitter.com/KathyPooler

LinkedIn: Kathleen Pooler: https://www.linkedin.com/pub/kathleen-pooler/16/a95/20a

Google+:Kathleen Pooler: https://plus.google.com/109860737182349547026/posts

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4812560-kathleen-pooler

Facebook:

Personal page,

Kathy Pooler : https://www.facebook.com/kathleen.pooler

Author page:

Kathleen Pooler/Memoir Writer’s Journey: https://www.facebook.com/memoirwritersjourney

Pinterest  (http://www.pinterest.com/krpooler/)

            One of her stories “The Stone on the Shore” is published in the anthology: “The Woman I’ve Become: 37 Women Share Their Journeys From Toxic Relationships to Self-Empowerment” by Pat LaPointe, 2012.

            Another story: “Choices and Chances” is published in the “My Gutsy Story Anthology” by Sonia Marsh, September, 2013.

Q &A With Kathleen Pooler, Memoir Author

A few weeks ago, I was a Guest Blogger for Kathy Pooler whose memoir is pictured. Read more about it here. I asked Kathy if she'd consider doing an interview for my blog. Gracious lady that she is, she agreed without hesitation. The interview will run over two days. Part 1 is below. Not only memoir writers will find this of interest. All writers can gain some knowledge and insight from this writer's answers to my questions. 

Interview with Kathy Pooler, Memoir Writer

Nancy:  Did you have any writing background before you started to write your memoir?

Kathy:  The only background I have is a lifelong desire to write. My career was in nursing. I think my passion for writing started when I was around nine- years-old and wrote plays to perform in front of my maternal grandmother and all her Italian lady friends. They chattered in response and though I didn’t   understand a word, their enthusiasm motivated me to keep doing it. Soon after, I received a pink journal with a lock and key and I have been journaling ever since.  In 1999, I took a Writer’s Digest course, Getting Started in Writing which jumpstarted my writing career. When I decided to write a memoir, I took online courses in the art and craft of memoir writing from 2009 to 2012 through The National Association of Memoir Writers with Linda Joy Myers.

Nancy:   What made you decide to write the book?

Kathy:  We all have challenges and struggles in our lives that help to shape us into the adults we become. After surviving two divorces from emotionally abusive men, one of whom was an alcoholic, cancer and a son with addiction, I looked around at the life of peace and joy I was living and decided I must tell my story to give others in similar circumstances hope for themselves. No matter how far down into the abyss you may go, there’s always hope for a better life.

Nancy:  How long did it take from start to finish?

Kathy:  Memoir writing is a marathon, not a sprint. It has been a slow unfolding of past memories with new discoveries along the way. As I mentioned above, I journaled through all my challenges from the time I was in high school. Many of these journal entries became the seeds for my memoir.  I started writing in earnest in 2009 and published my first memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse in July of 2014. 

Nancy:  Did you have a professional editor, or do it yourself?

IKathy:   feel strongly that professional editing is essential in producing a marketable book. I need an objective, professional review and would never rely on myself to edit.

When I complete my first draft, I put out a call to fellow writers and friends to be beta readers. This gives me feedback from a reader’s perspective. After incorporating the beta readers’ suggestions and when I feel my manuscript is ready, I send it to a professional editor for the evaluation of the content, story structure, narrative arc and writing. I will then hire a copyeditor to check for grammar and punctuation and a proofreader for the final review.

Nancy:  How many publishers did you submit to before being accepted at Open Books Press?

Kathy:  I was lucky. The small publisher reached out to me after seeing a comment I had made on a popular writer’s blog, Writer’s Unboxed. I had an established platform through my weekly blog and he requested I submit my manuscript to him. Before that, I had explored other publishing options, including traditional and self-publishing and already decided to aim for a small publisher.

Nancy:  What have you done to promote your book?

Kathy:  I think the most important thing is to take the time you need to write a good book and I hope I’ve done that. I participated in online and onsite book tours, book signings at local venues, such as libraries, counseling centers, senior centers. In one case, a coworker’s mother who worked at a local counseling center read my book and recommended to her director that I come to speak at a staff meeting which I did. This meeting was broad cast to two other counseling sites. As a result of the newspaper article about the meeting, a reporter from the newspaper requested to come to my house to interview me for a full page Sunday feature story.  Other opportunities came my way, such as requests to speak at a local nursing association’s dinner meeting and an invitation to be  keynote speaker at an annual fundraising event for the local domestic violence shelter.

Please Come back tomorrow for Part 2 of the interview