Here's Kathy with more answers to my questions. Below Part 2 of the interview, look for her bio and several links. Do take some time to click and visit her. I've been so pleased to have Kathy as my Guest.
Nancy: Did you find yourself reliving the abusive marriage times in your
life as you wrote? If so, how did you handle it?
Kathy: My first memoir was not the story I wanted or intended to write. I
started out writing about being the mother of an alcoholic son. But when I sent
my manuscript to a developmental editor, she strongly recommended that I had
two memoirs, one about the emotional abuse and the other about my son. I then
had to face all my vulnerabilities and flaws—why and how I got into two
emotionally abusive marriages-- which was very difficult. There were many times
when I had to put the manuscript aside, sometimes for months at a time. But the
story kept nagging at me and I eventually finished it. And I will add that
seeing it through helped me to heal from the guilt and shame I had carried
around all those years. It also helped me to forgive those in my life whom I
felt had hurt me. Most important, it helped me to forgive myself.
Nancy: Did you ever want to quit writing the book? If so, what made you
continue?
Kathy: Indeed, there were times when I wondered if it was worth exposing
such intimate details about my family life. I was especially concerned about
the response of my first ex-husband, the father of my children. I consulted an
attorney and prayed about it. One day a few months before it was published, I
sat in church and had an overwhelming feeling come over me. I felt compassion
for the young woman in my story (me). With that feeling came a renewed passion
for telling my story to give others hope.
Nancy: What are you working on now?
Kathy: I am currently in the final editing phase of my second memoir, Daring to Hope: A Mother’s Journey to
Healing From Cancer and Her Son’s Alcohol Addiction. I started writing
vignettes about this story in 1999. So it’s been in the works for nineteen
years.
Nancy: How soon do you expect the new book to be published?
Kathy: By next year at this time, I hope to have it published. Maybe
sooner. It all depends on how the revision process goes. When I’m done with
this phase of my revision, I will print it out and have a red pen in hand to
mark the areas that still need work. I’m in no hurry but I will feel good when
it’s done.
Nancy: What advice do you have to others who might like to write a
memoir?
Kathy: Read a lot of memoirs.
Study the art and craft of memoir writing. There are so many free
resources online: The National Association of Memoir Writers (NAMW), The Memoir
Network with Denis Ledoux, International Women’s Writer’s Guild (IWWG)
Facebook groups: Memories to Memoir with Cami Ostman, IWWG member
group, NAMW, Gutsy Indie Publishers
Follow blogs: The Write Practice, Women’s Writing Circle with
Susan Weidener, Writing Through Life with Amber Lea Starfire, Marion Roach,
Memories and Memoir with Linda Joy Myer to name a few.
If you can, get to a writer’s conference. IWWG and Writer’s Digest
Annual Conferences are my favorites.
And finally, if you want be a writer, you have to write and keep
writing until it’s right. And don’t forget to be kind and gentle with yourself.
Memoir writing is a daunting, often painful process but well worth it in terms
of the healing and transformation that occurs within you.
Good Luck!
Bio: Bio: Kathleen Pooler is an author and a retired Family Nurse
Practitioner whose memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From
Emotional Abuse, published on July 28, 2014 and work-in-progress sequel, The
Edge of Hope (working title) are about how the power of hope through her faith
in God helped her to transform, heal and transcend life’s obstacles and
disappointments: domestic abuse, divorce, single parenting, loving and
letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer and heart failure to live a life of joy
and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all
strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories.
She lives with her husband Wayne in eastern New York.
Twitter @kathypooler
Facebook:
Personal page,
Author page:
One of her stories “The Stone on the Shore” is published in the anthology: “The Woman I’ve Become: 37 Women Share
Their Journeys From Toxic Relationships to Self-Empowerment” by Pat LaPointe,
2012.
Another story: “Choices and Chances” is published in the “My Gutsy Story Anthology” by Sonia Marsh,
September, 2013.
Thanks, again, Nancy. It’s been fun!
ReplyDeleteKathleen, thank you for sharing your personal memoir writing story. I resonated with how your memoir ended up being different than you thought it would be when you started. And thank you for mentioning my blog as a resource for would-be memoirists.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Amber for your comment. Aren't we both lucky to have crossed paths with Kathleen?
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and commenting, Amber. I’m
ReplyDeleteso happy our paths have crossed. It’s my pleasure to share your site and all you do to help memoir writers.