Guest Blog: Your Agent Isn't Your Best Friend

 My Guest Blogger today is Christina Hamlett, author of While You Were Out, the book I recently reviewed, as well as many others. She has some excellent advice for those authors seeking or having newly acquired an agent.Former actress/director Christina Hamlett is an award-winning author and playwright whose credits to date include 44 books, 255 stage plays and squillions of articles and interviews.

YOUR AGENT ISN'T YOUR BEST FRIEND

By Christina Hamlett 

The good news is that you’ve just landed your first literary agent. The bad news is that this exciting new marriage will quickly lead to divorce if you overstep professional boundaries and ascribe traits and expectations that most reps never sign up for; specifically, being assigned roles which may be lacking in a client’s personal life.

For aspiring authors, there’s often a mystique surrounding what, exactly, an agent can do. Years ago I recall an acquaintance declaring that having a rep meant she’d never again have to worry about her writing career. The reality? You’ll have to work just as much—if not more—than you did before you signed a contract. In this particular case, the new author had spent most of her adult life penning just one book. Just one. She had no plans to write a second or third because, hey, her agent was going to turn this one into a bestseller and she’d never have to write anything ever again. It’s a nice dream. Just not one grounded in truth.

As with any other industry in today’s downward-spiraling economy, agents are facing challenges that weren’t present 20-30 years ago. In order to be successful, they need to be able pitch projects which publishers can’t wait to rush to market. Unfortunately, publishers have become more risk-averse than their predecessors. As my circle of colleagues have candidly admitted, it’s easier to say no to a project they actually like than to say yes to investing in a newbie’s work which could crash and burn and ultimately cost them their jobs. With release lists continuing to shrink, the safe route is to be more discriminating in what they accept. And while one-hit wonders may have worked in the past—Memoirs of a Geisha, Gone With the Wind, The Bell Jar, Black Beauty—publishers and agents alike are reluctant to build the career of someone who only has one commercially viable idea.

The burgeoning popularity of self-publishing has also given rise to authors who believe they can circle back to agents and say, “See? I’m published now! Are you interested in representing me?” Unless their DIY efforts have yielded astronomical sales, why would any agent want to hype something which is already available on Amazon?

This leads back to what authors can do to not only nurture the agent relationships they have just entered but also ensure those contractual partnerships don’t fall by the wayside from inappropriate behaviors. 

Among the biggest pet peeves of agents with whom I’ve spoken is the idea that the agent will suddenly—and happily—wear more than one hat to make the writer feel secure. These include:

• The Confessional Ear and Redeemer: “I know I said this book is fiction, but it’s actually about all the trauma I endured in childhood when I was abused by my older brother. You’re absolutely the only person I felt I could tell this to.”
• The Parental: “Did I do well, Mom? Do you like me best? Are you really, really, really happy with me?”
• The Cheerleader: “My life is such a mess. Why do I even bother? What if everyone hates my book? How can I go on? I’m a failure, aren’t I?  I should just give up, don’t you think?”
• The Whipping Post: “Why aren’t you listening to the way I want you to do things? If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times. My book is fine just the way it is. If you were any good at what you do, I’d be on Oprah by now.”
• The Bestest Bestie: “I hope you don’t mind me calling you at 3am or sending so many emails about my boyfriend and my dysfunctional family but isn’t that what best friends are for? So do you think I should take Carl back or play the field?”

In my work as a mentor and consultant, I’ve personally encountered this last one the most frequently. Time and again, any such relationships that aggressively move from “I love you, love you, love you and let’s be besties forever” will just as quickly turn to “I hate you, hate you, hate you and you can’t die fast enough” the very first time you offer professional criticism they don’t want to hear.

While there’s certainly no shortage of stories in which an agent/client relationship has evolved into a genuine friendship, this should not be a writer’s goal from the outset. The goal, first and foremost, should be to continuously prove you are worth the agent’s investment, time and trust. This is accomplished by:

• Listening to the rep’s advice and counsel on what could make your project the most attractive to a publisher. While you may not agree with everything your agent suggests, bear in mind that it’s not his or her quest to ruin your masterpiece but, rather, to help polish it to its most shiny best. You may know your story inside and out, but agents are better versed in what the current markets want, demand and are willing to pay for.
• Coming up with fresh ideas, whether for standalones or sequels. Nothing excites an agent more than to know you already have something else in the queue before your first book is even on the market.
• Asking intelligent questions. An intelligent question is to pick the agent’s brain on how best to build your author’s platform. A stupid question is asking how soon you are going to be rich from royalties. (Yes, there are authors who actually ask that.)
• Staying focused on your book and your credentials. While there’s nothing wrong with occasionally straying into personal news if the agent invites it, he or she is not there to be your mum, your priest, your best bud or your favorite bartender. He or she has only one job to do and that’s to represent your book’s best interests. You have only one job as well. To be the best writer possible.