Today's post is an article that I wrote for a Children's Writer's Newsletter a few years ago. Although originally geared to people who write for children, the information works just as well for those who write for adults. I interviewed two people I considered experts in their field for the article.
The Icing On The Cake
A cake with no icing is about as appealing as toast with no butter. The basic food is there, but the special something that makes it taste so good is missing. The icing makes the cake sweeter, prettier, and more appealing like the birthday cake pictures in today's post. A story may have a good plot, but without the little extra, it may end up being rather ordinary.
Sensory details enhance a story like the icing on that cake. We use our five senses hundreds of times a day without being conscious of doing so.Think about the many everyday things you do that involve your senses.When you look out your kitchen window and see a bird, your mind registers more than the fact that you saw a bird. You know that it is a bird, you know the color, the size, and perhaps the sound it makes, you know how oft the feathers would feel if you stroked it. We see, hear, smell, taste and touch with our daily experiences, so why not include them in our stories?
Children relate to things in their personal surroundings. They know that the bristles of a brush might feel scratchy. They squeal with delight at he sound of the ice cream vendor, and they wrinkle their noses when taste-testing a new food not to their liking. Include these experiences in the stories they read, and you could end up being a sought-after author-the writer who made the story come alive.
Margaret Shauers, author of many children's stories and regular columnist at Write4Kids, says "The way humans communicate is through shared experiences and emotions, and we experience life through the five senses."Ms Shauers has a word of warning. "We rely too much on sight and need to hone our skills at the other four. Keeping a sense diary helps-a short sentence or two about each sense every day." She admits that it is easiest to include sight and sound in children's stories. Touch runs a close third, but taste and smell are senses she must concentrate on when she writes.
Look at the sentences below. Which example in each set is more interesting?>
A. Sam saw a big wave. Or Sam's heart leaped in his chest when he spied the huge wall of water headed his way-taller than his basketball goal at home.
A few added words allow the reader to see the wave headed for Sam.
B. Sally heard thunder. Or Sally covered her ears when thunder boomed overhead and echoed across the prairie. The wind whistled through the tall grasses as she raced toward home.
We know that the noise is very loud if Sally has covered her ears, and we can discern the sound in the grass, too, through the active verb form.
C. The dead mouse smelled bad. Or The rotten stench of the dead mouse made Susie gag, and clap her hand over her nose and mouth.
Gagging and covering her nose and mouth illustrates the nasty smell so much better than simply telling the reader the mouse smelled.
D. Tommy didn't like the vegetable. Or The slimy, green spinach sat on Tommy's tongue and refused to move any further. He'd never be able to swallow the bitter stuff.
Here we not only know what the taste is, but we can also see the vile veggie Tommy is trying to eat.
E. Jody petted the cat. Or Jody giggled when the cat's soft fur tickled her hand as she stroked him.
The senses of both touch and hearing are evident in this last sentence.
Did you notice that the first sentence in each group was a telling sentence, while the next one showed what happened. Using sensory details remedies too much telling.
Picture book author, Barbara Santucci, pays close attention to sensory details in her three picture books--Anna's Corn, Loon Summer, and Abby's Chairs.Ms Santucci says "The more sensory details we include, the richer our writing becomes, and the more able we are to show and not tell the story plot and the emotions we are trying to convey." Anna's Corn is a story built around the sound of corn growing in Anna's grandfather's field.There is, of course, a good deal more to the story, but the music of the corn Anna remembers figures strongly in this tale of loss.
Ms. Santucci adds "Our writing should create concrete and vivid images in the minds of readers that help them experience the emotions of the characters, thereby creating a mind and heart connection between the story and the reader."
That "mind and heart connection" is what a children's author strives for. People who write for adults want the same connection.
Adding lively sensory details will achieve that connection more easily.For most of us, it's not a given. We need to practice writing those sensory details so that they become second nature when writing a new children's tale. Let sight, sound, smell, taste and touch be the icing on the cake in your stories.
Exercises:
Keep a Sense Diary. Write a short sentence or two about each sense daily.
Practice writing phrases that include sensory details
Watch for sensory details when you read.
Be observant. Take note of the sensory details in your daily life.
By Nancy Julien Kopp Nancy - November 25, 2014 (original publishing date)
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