About Those Adjectives We Use

 

The man in the poster is a writer at work. Let's suppose that he is revising and editing a first draft. He knows something is missing in the story he's written. But what?

It could be that his descriptions are pretty generic, that his adjectives don't give a clear picture to the reader. Or that he rarely uses adjectives. 

Conversely, he might be guilty of adjective overload. He thinks that one adjective looks a little lonely, so let's add a few more. What does he have in the end? An overly done piece of work. 

Let's look at a few examples where A is pretty generic and B gives a better picture:

A.  The woman sat in a chair at the ball game.

B.   The old woman sat in a folding chair at the baseball game. 

In A, we have the basics, but B let's us see the woman more clearly. We know her age category, the kind of chair she is sitting in, and what kind of game she is watching.

A.  The kitten lapped the milk in the bowl.

B.  The black and white kitten lapped the warm milk in the blue pottery bowl.

We see much more in B than we do in A. 

A.  The tree faced the mountain, and Jem placed her hand on the trunk as she gazed into the distance.

B.  The huge tree faced the snow-capped mountain, and Jem placed her wrinkled hand on the rough trunk as she gazed into the distance.

B tells us the size of the tree, the age group of Jem, a bit about the mountaun, and something about the tree's trunk. A tells us none of that. 

A.  Jimmy ran into the forest, determined to find his pet before dark.

B.  Jimmy ran into the dense forest, determined to find his faithful dog before the scary dark approached.

Again, B gives us a picture that is more clear and adds some interest, as well.

Now, look at these sentences. Which ones would you add something or take away words? Are there any you would leave as is?

A. Glenna rode the white stallion along the deeply rutted road, hoping he would not stumble and throw her into the deep canyon to her right. 

B.  George put on his very most favorite tie and then slipped into the navy plaid skinny fit sport coat as he got ready for the beautiful, exciting, wonderful dance in the park pavilion.

C.  Susan walked in the garden.

D.  The house leaned a little.

E.  Her ragged dress stood out among the girls who wore ruffles and lace. 

F.  Buildings crowded together in the downtown area of the city. 

Some of the sentences have too many adjectives, while others are pretty generic, telling the reader very little. Any one of the sentences can be changed or left alone. That is the writer's choice, but look at them again. Which ones do you prefer? 

Remember that one adjective per noun is generally enough. Make it two or three, and you may be heading for overkill.  Use none, and your reader is left with some questions in their mind. Adjectives help describe; they help show, but they should be used sparingly.