Book Review: Writing as a Path to Healing

 

In reference to The Write Spot:  Writing as a Path to Healing, author, Elizabeth Beechwood, said“The contributing writers delve into the pain of their past, reveal their vulnerabilities, and share the lessons they’ve learned with all of us. Their courage is written on every page of this collection.” 

After reading my contributor’s copy of editor, Marlene Cullen’s newest anthology, I am in full agreement with Ms. Beechwood. Especially the last sentence regarding courage written on every page. It is not easy to write about traumatic events, but twenty-one people have done so and were willing to share stories and poems with readers.

The writers come from various walks of life and offer readers a look into difficult times they experienced at some point. These writers all used writing as a step on their path to healing and to offer support to others. Some who write about troubled parts of their life are not willing to share what they write with others. We are fortunate that the writers in Ms. Cullen's anthology are willing to do so. 

Each writer added a writing prompt that fits with their story or poem, a short bio, and an answer to this question posed by the editor:  What scares you about writing? I found their answers interesting, revealing, and comforting.

A Resources section is a second part of the book. Those several pages were of interest to me as a writer, but anyone wanting to write about a difficult time in their life would benefit from reading this section. The sections include Freewrites, Self-Care when Writing about Difficult Situations, Seven Calming Techniques, and a group of Activities to Recharge and Refresh. 

The final section is titled Recommended Books—ones the editor found helpful on her own ‘healing journey.’ 

This is a book that I know I will read more than once, parts of it or the entire anthology. People who are on their own ‘healing journey’ or know someone who is will find this book of great interest and a guide to how writing can be real assistance—perhaps enough to spur their own writing. 

The book is the sixth in a series and can be purchased at Amazon. 

Fingers of Fear and Hands of Hope

Listening to friends via phone calls, reading what my online writing group pals are writing every day for our "Pen-demic" exercise, and reading what many are posting on Facebook makes me sit up and take notice. There is a pandemic that we are all aware of. Along with awareness comes uncertainty, fear, and depression.

Some are voicing their thoughts about this trying time, while others are most likely thinking about it but holding it in. It seems to me that nearly all adults have had a sense of fear over this unprecedented time of illness and death, quarantining and self-isolation. It may not be all-consuming, stopping you from living life all day every day. Instead, the feeling of fear may come in bits and pieces, off and on through the day and night. Yes, night because lying in bed thinking about the problem can bring Mr. Fear right to your bedside.

Personally, I had one night when I woke at 3 a.m. and felt very afraid for my children and grandchildren, for my friends, for our world, and also for my husband and myself. When we walk in unknown territory, it's quite easy to have fearful thoughts. I've had small moments of fear since then but nothing like those fearful thoughts in the dark of night

I am a great proponent of writing to heal. I believe that writing about past traumas in your life is a step in healing. Not a cure but a step in the healing process. Writing your thoughts and feelings about what you are living through now can be helpful. You can release those inner fears. It may not make them disappear completely, but I think it can help. I write about my thoughts and feelings every day with my online writing group. Most of the members do. They run from fear to hope to living the best way we can right now. I think it has been helpful to all our members who are participating. Some right several paragraphs while others write poignant poems.

I've noticed several blogs, newsletters and websites in my writing world have suggested keeping a daily journal while the pandemic is going on all over the world. It's a way to record your thoughts and feelings about your personal life in this worldwide crisis. That's what my online writing group is doing by writing our daily Pen-demic. I have noted fear in many but also a great deal of hope. I've seen many who are trying to keep life as normal as possible right now. The hands of hope can stifle the fingers of fear.

Dwell on hope as often as you can. This situation cannot last forever. Someday, it is going to end, and we are going to know a lot about living through a crisis. We'll know about our own strength and endurance as well as our ability to continue chasing hope and pushing fear away.

Your own writing does not have to be anything you share with others. If it gives you some release, that's beneficial. If you do choose to share what you wrote with other family members or friends, that's fine, too. Parents can suggest to children of an age who can write to start their own journal or just write once or draw a picture to show what they are feeling. Maybe they are afraid, too, but haven't expressed it to their parents. Help them release their thoughts and talk with them afterward.

It must be difficult for parents of small children to know how much to tell them. They don't want to frighten the kids unnecessarily, but they need to make them aware of the rules of self-isolation and why we are doing it.

Please know that to have a little fear right now is pretty normal. You can help yourself and your family by turning to dwelling on hope, prayer if you a believer, and living as normally as possible in this troubled time. And try writing about your thoughts and feelings. Do it as a letter to yourself or one to share with others. When you write, get angry if you want to do that. Tell about your fears but also write about hope. 

Write About The Good and Bad Things In Life

I write essays, poems and stories detailing the events that bring basic emotions into my life. Anguish, joy, pain and hope visit me through the years, some of these feelings more intense than others. My words spill onto the paper or the computer screen, paragraph upon paragraph, a coping mechanism. At times, I become driven to put emotional experiences into words, whether for myself alone or for others to read. My writing releases a sort of power that can deliver healing or achieve satisfaction.

The paragraph above was my opening to a personal essay on why I write. The rest of the essay details four specific times in my life when writing helped me address an overwhelming emotion, both negative and postive ones. Writing about the situations that brought these emotions to the surface took me to a place where I couldbegin to understand and deal with whatever had happened. It allowed me to step back a bit and look at what occurred and my reaction, also to how it affected my life.

As writers, we are privileged to be able to do this. It helps us through many of the ups and downs that we experience as we move through our life. We meet both the positives and negatives on our life's journey. There are times when it seems the unhappy moments will never end. Writing about those events  may not change what happened but I find that it helps the healing begin. It's not the end-all solution but it's a step in getting through whatever difficult time it might have been. 

Writing about an emotional time in our life is merely a tool for dealing with whatever occurred.  As stated above, it can be a coping mechanism. Writing allows me a release. Reading about it later lets me stand back and view whatever happened in a little more objective light. It gives me insight in how I should have or still can deal with it.

There are things I've written that will never be seen by others. They are for me alone. Conversely, many of the difficult times in my life have driven me to write for others who may be experiencing something similar. It's one small way I might be able to help someone else cope with a mind-numbing event comparable to mine. 

Even writing about the joyful times can be of help to others. Some simple wonderful memory from our childhood can be revealing to someone reading about it. They might never have realized that events of the same type in their own lives were of importance in their own happiness quotient. It's one reason memoirs are so popular. People enjoy reading about the lives of others. As they do, they are consciously, or maybe subconsciously, comparing their own lives to that of the person writing the memoir. 

Use your writing skills to cope with all the events of your life. Be they good or bad, write about it. Do it for yourself. Do it for others, too. 

Secret Writing

If you knew no one would ever see your work, what would you write? 


The above was posted today on a members only website group called SheWrites. The question was used in a list of writing prompts. I usually push writing for publication, but there's probably a benefit for some people to write something that no one else will ever see.


If you write to this purpose, you can dig deep into your feelings about a situation that may have been filled with anguish, fear, or loathing. What you might not be able to say publicly can be said in this one- on-one type of writing. Pull out all stops and let the words flow freely. Having done a little of this kind of writing myself, I know that sometimes what comes out is a surprise even to the writer. Once we let our emotions surface as we delve into a long-buried event or a period in our lives, the words seem to flow endlessly. And when you read those words, you may feel vindicated, cleansed, or satisfied, depending on what you're writing about. Writing in this vein is a step in the healing process for many people.


It sounds like all I'm advocating here is to write about negative happenings, but if you stop and think about it, happy times are the ones we're eager to share with others. So there seems to be no need to write about delightful times only for ourselves.


I once wrote a short essay called "Dusting Off Those Holiday Memories." I suggested spending a little time alone with holiday memories that contained difficult times. Look at them, assess them, and return them to your memory bank in hopes that they may not seem so dismal. Sometimes the deeper we bury the bad memories, the more they nag at us. I think it's good to revisit them from time to time.


So consider the exercise above and ask yourself what you might write if you knew no one would ever see it. Secret writing may not bring publication or a paycheck, but the personal  benefit might be well worth it.

Writing To Heal

One of my critique group members lost her husband about a month ago. Only a year earlier, he'd been diagnosed with lung cancer. Surprising since he'd never smoked. She was completely devastated dealing with the unexpected loss.

Today, she wrote to our group saying that these have been some of the darkest days she's ever known, but there are glimmers of light here and there. The outpouring of love and kindness of others has helped. She's been working on a mystery novel for some time, and her four adult sons have urged her to get back to writing. They reminded her that it was their father's wish that she finish the novel. And so, she has returned to the group to have the novel critiqued, chapter by chapter.

I was very pleased that she is writing again. It can be a part of the healing process. No, she isn't going to be writing immediately about her husband and all that occurred, but someday she might. Even writing this novel will help. It will give her a focus point, something that requires her mind to be clear of other matters, and it can bring her slowly back to her more normal world again.

Grief counselors often encourage those dealing with a loss to write about it. Or to write about anything that comes to mind. I don't know what it is about putting the thoughts in our minds into print that acts as a soothing balm, but it does seem to help. Not overnight, but slowly and surely. What is written may never be seen by others. It might be for the person who is dealing with grief and nobody else.

Then again, they might end up publishing what they wrote to help others heal. There are many books that contain personal stories from those who have endured a tragedy of some kind. Reading about how others have handled a loss can be beneficial by making the widow or widower feel not quite so alone.

No matter what the problem might be, I truly believe writing about it can aid in the healing process.