Why You Need to Write Family Stories

 

(This is a post from two years ago. I hope it helps you to give some thought to writing your own family stories. Don't consider it a chore but an act of love for your family.)

I've been thinking a lot lately about family stories and why we need to write them. It's a pet theme of mine, but next week, I am giving a program to a women's group about the same subject., so it's been on my mind more than usual.

The first question to consider is Why should we write family stories?

I found several quotes that give an answer to that question. Read them and then read them a second time. Let the words of these authors and others sink in. 

Alex Haley:  In every conceivable manner, the family is the link to our past and the bridge to our future. 

Unknown author:  Our most treasured heirlooms are the memories of our family.

Unknown author:  The measure of a woman's character is not what she gets from her ancestors but what she leaves her descendants.

Madeleine Engle:  If you don't recount your family history, it will be lost. Honor your own stories and tell them, too. The tales may not seem very important, but they are what binds families and makes each of us who we are.

Chinese proverb:  To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root.

Lawrence Overmire:  My charge, then, in putting down my pen and giving over this work to posterity is this:  Take the time. Take the time to preserve the stories, the photographs, the small mementos that mean so much. This is your legacy to future generations. Give it the attention it deserves. Your children and grandchildren will thank you for it. 

Me again:  I feel that knowing who and what came before us is helpful in knowing who we are today. I find it satisfying to know what my grandparents and great-grandparents were like as young people. And also my own parents, aunts, and uncles. Hearing their stories helps me understand what kind of person each one was and perhaps why they did something in particular. 

I had an aunt who told her daughter and me myriad stories about my dad and the things he did as a little boy. Maybe she embellished them a bit, but the facts were there. It let me know that my dad was a daredevil, loved his parents, was honest and more. 

As I learned more and more about my family members on both sides, I developed some admiration for some but also some questions as to why this person did whatever. I had pride after learning many things and perhaps a bit of shame on a few others. I developed great sympathy for what some of my family members had to deal with. Those stories also let me know I was but one threat in the great tapestry of my family history.

A good reason to tell the family stories is to help us know our family medical history. In my own family, we learned what side of the family had to deal with a certain medical issue. Had we not known when the situation occurred in the present day, we would have been lost. It's difficult sometimes as past generations were reluctant to reveal diseases, handicaps etc for fear of bringing shame on the family. Today, we know the importance of knowing a family's medical history, and we're willing to share to help others in the future. 

You owe it to yourself and to your present-day family, as well as future generations, to write those family stories you've heard told for so many years. Telling the stories at reunions or around the dining room table is wonderful, but they must be written to be preserved for all those who will come after you.

Why Should We Write Family Stories?

I've been thinking a lot lately about family stories and why we need to write them. It's a pet theme of mine, but next week, I am giving a program to a women's group about the same subject., so it's been on my mind more than usual.

The first question to consider is Why should we write family stories?

I found several quotes that give an answer to that question. Read them and then read them a second time. Let the words of these authors and others sink in. 

Alex Haley:  In every conceivable manner, the family is the link to our past and the bridge to our future. 

Unknown author:  Our most treasured heirlooms are the memories of our family.

Unknown author:  The measure of a woman's character is not what she gets from her ancestors but what she leaves her descendants.

Madeleine Engle:  If you don't recount your family history, it will be lost. Honor your own stories and tell them, too. The tales may not seem very important, but they are what binds families and makes each of us who we are.

Chinese proverb:  To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root.

Lawrence Overmire:  My charge, then, in putting down my pen and giving over this work to posterity is this:  Take the time. Take the time to preserve the stories, the photographs, the small mementos that mean so much. This is your legacy to future generations. Give it the attention it deserves. Your children and grandchildren will thank you for it. 

Me again:  I feel that knowing who and what came before us is helpful in knowing who we are today. I find it satisfying to know what my grandparents and great-grandparents were like as young people. And also my own parents, aunts, and uncles. Hearing their stories helps me understand what kind of person each one was and perhaps why they did something in particular. 

I had an aunt who told her daughter and me myriad stories about my dad and the things he did as a little boy. Maybe she embellished them a bit, but the facts were there. It let me know that my dad was a daredevil, loved his parents, was honest and more. 

As I learned more and more about my family members on both sides, I developed some admiration for some but also some questions as to why this person did whatever. I had pride after learning many things and perhaps a bit of shame on a few others. I developed great sympathy for what some of my family memebers had to deal with. Those stories also let me know I was but one threat in the great tapestry of my family history.

A good reason to tell the family stories is to help us know our family medical history. In my own family, we learned what side of the family had to deal with a certain medical issue. Had we not known when the situation occurred in the present day, we would have been lost. It's difficult sometimes as past generations were reluctant to reveal diseases, handicaps etc for fear of bringing shame on the family. Today, we know the importance of knowing a family's medical history, and we're willing to share to help others in the future. 

You owe it to yourself and to your present-day family, as well as future generations, to write those family stories you've heard told for so many years. Telling the stories at reunions or around the dining room table is wonderful, but they must be written to be preserved for all those who will come after you.

The Importance of Preserving Family Stories

The quote above is from Alex Haley, the author of the extremely popular tv series Roots which aired in 1977. The story was based on the author's novel of the same name which had been published only a year or so earlier. Besides being well done, the tv series made people aware of the importance of their own roots, their families.

Many who watched the series began to seek information about their families, both present and generations earlier. Family stories became trendy for a while. I still think they are of utmost importance. Knowing what came before is a help to knowing who we are today

Look at these quotes about the importance of family stories--not just the telling of them but writing them so they are preserved: 

If you don’t recount your family history, it will be lost. Honor your own stories and tell them too. The tales may not seem very important, but they are what binds families and makes each of us who we are. Madeleine L’Engle

“It turns out that sharing family stories with adult children and grandchildren is more than a pleasant pastime. Research has found that a strong narrative helps build strong family bonds. .Passing down lessons and values through stories enhances a sense of well-being.” (Mary W. Quigley)

“The best-loved stories are not from books or films, but those from our own families” Jane McGarvey

“Family stories casually chatted about at the dinner table, or regaled again and again at family gatherings can parallel great epics or notable short stories. The memorable stories of our lives and of others in our family take on special importance because they are true, even if everyone tells different versions of the same event. These tales are family heirlooms held in the heart not the hand. They are a gift to each generation that preserves them by remembering them and passing them on.” (Heather Forest)

I was blessed in having parents who both told us myriad family stories, most often at the dinner table. It was a time when we came together as a family. My parents came from totally different backgrounds. Dad's French heritage family came to Chicago from Quebec and, farther back, from France. Dad grew up in a city atmosphere. My mother was born in a small coal-mining town in Iowa with grandparents who had emigrated from England and Ireland. Two families with different lifestyles but many oft-told stories from both. I learned so much listening to those stories my parents shared with us. Sadly, neither one of them ever wrote one of the stories, so the only way they were preserved is the retelling by me and my brothers. I am the one person in the family who has written some of the stories making sure they will not die.

Writing family stories is not just a pleasant pastime. Preserving the history of your family for your present and future family is important. Those quotes I shared above are only a few of the dozens and dozens I found when I did a search on google. The numbers alone should tell you the importance given to the telling and writing of family stories.

I'm going to be featuring different aspects of writing family stories the next several posts. I hope you'll join me.