Writing Obituaries and Tributes

 

We attended my husband's brother's funeral in the Chicago area this past week. His obituary listed many of the things he'd done in his long life, and the tributes at the funeral added something more to the memory of this fine man. 

On the long drive home, I started thinking about writing obituaries and tributes. There are forms to help people write the obits, and funeral home staff can be helpful to bereaved families giving guidance.

What about writers? Shouldn't they be able to write an obituary for a family member and do it quite well? Answers to that question may vary. Some might say "I'm a sci-fi writer, so what do I know about writing an obituary?" Or "I write steamy romances, you don't want me to write my sister's obituary." Or "I write technical articles for the airline industry. Don't expect me to write my father's obit." 

Years ago, many young journalists began their newspaper career by starting at the bottom rung of the ladder. They were given the job of writing obituaries for the paper after getting information from the family. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. They learned to gather all the facts, the same as they would need to do when writing news stories. 

I think writers would be able to write quite eloquent obituaries using the tools of their craft. Those who read this blog regularly know that I advise writers to write in a different genre occasionally. It's good practice. It would certainly help in writing about someone who had passed away. 

Most newspapers have a certain fee that is charged for a minimum number of words. More words cost  more money. It's up to the family to make it short or a real bio of the deceased. 

You should include things like dates of birth and death, parents, spouse, (or spouses if more than one marriage) children, grandchildren and special friends are sometimes included. You can add education history, career history, military service,  hobbies or interests pursued, and organizations the person belonged. Awards he/she might have received. Many include the cause of death. Add service times and place and memorials if any have been selected. 

When asked to give a tribute to the memory of the deceased at a funeral service or a celebration of life in some other venue, you can be more personal telling what you admired about the person, why you were close friends, cousins or whatever. Humor can certainly be included here. My husband told some things about his brother that few others knew, but I think they appreciated hearing these bits and pieces of their growing up years. 

As writers, you can use words well. Why not use them when writing an obituary or giving a tribute to someone you and your family have lost.? Or for a deceased close friend.

What about writing your own obituary and keeping it where a family member can find it when the time comes to use it? I have written mine and my husband's, but after thinking about what we witnessed this past week at the family funeral, I am going to revise and add. 

Some of you may be thinking this is a gloomy topic, or that you don't want to even think about such things. Death is a part of life, and we would be wise to be prepared. My apologies if I have offended anyone with today's post.