Our poster today depicts a sextet of hands. I like to think of them as 'helping hands.' One thing a writer needs is the hand of friendship from others in the field.
There are several reasons that we should develop friendships with other writers:
1. Who understands us better than another writer? We can discuss our writing life with a spouse, parents, kids, other friends, and they may listen and nod their heads. Even give a hug when they think it is needed. Writers listen in an altogether different way. They listen to our writing woes with empathy. They've been there, know how we're feeling.
2. If we have a group of writing friends, we can reach out to one or more when we need advice or when a sticky place in the story has us stumped. Another writer might be able to see the problem better than we do and can offer bits and pieces of advice. We aren't asking for them to rewrite the whole thing for us. All we want is a little push in the right direction. Individual writer friends can do this but so can a critique group. Yes, consider the members of a critique group as friends. They're willing to help you and hope you will return the favor.
3. We learn from writer friends. We watch how they handle the writing life, how they progress in seeking publication, and how they move down their writing path. We can learn from their successes, but we can also learn about things to avoid when we see them hit a roadblock.
4. The common bond of writing allows us to be friends with the many writers we encounter in critique groups, at conferences, and on social media. I've made myriad numbers of friends through my blog and the blogs and websites of others. These are people I've never met in person, but we've formed friendships through our love of writing. Our technological world has allowed us to connect with people all over the world who have the same love of writing that we do.
5. We can ask a close friend or family member to read and critique our writing, but they are more likely to give us high praise just because they ARE our friends. A friend who is also a writer will give us honest feedback and possibly point out things to change. For them, it's a 'been there, done that' situation.
6. Our writing world is usually separate from our other everyday world. When we slip into our writing mode, we are in a completely different place, and we need friends who are in the same place to listen to us, give us a shoulder to lean on, and commiserate at what they feel is the total unfairness of some editors. And more!
7. Writer friends can help boost our self-confidence. They'll tell us when we need to change something in a story, but they'll also let us know when we've done a good job. And guess what? They are happy for us when we do well. I find praise from another writer to be cherished.
I received an email from a dear writer friend in Canada this morning. Part of the message was about how she noticed that I am Facebook friends with a writer whose books she has enjoyed and is promoting with a group she heads. She met our mutual friend through another writer who works at the same university as he does in Kansas. So you see, these friendships go round and round, overlapping, and bringing joy.
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