Once the seeds of self-doubt are sown, they tend to grow just like flower seeds in your garden. Sadly, the growth of self-doubt seeds is not pretty like the flowers that push through the soil.
Who do you blame for doubting yourself? You could name all those editors who rejected your submissions. Those submissions were the result of lots of planning and hard work. No wonder you feel like your confidence is slowly trickling away. Or you might point the finger at other writers who seem to be more successful than you. You might reach far back and blame your mother. After all, she helped create the person you are, didn't she?
Yes, you could use any one of the excuses above, but deep down, you know you are in control of your self-confidence. To be fair, it's a humankind of thing to look for other people or situations to blame. We'd a whole lot rather that someone else was responsible. Their fault, not mine.
If you continue to point the finger at others, it will do nothing to boost your self-confidence. Instead, doing so will only feed self-doubt. If you want to free yourself of self-doubt, take the first step by eliminating all those excuses you've been using. Know that you're not alone in trying to shake that self-doubt. It's a common problem with writers.
Writers constantly question themselves. Am I good enough to write a novel? Can my poem rise to the top in the contest? Do I spend enough time editing before I submit? Is Susie Q a better writer than I am? Do I have what it takes to be a successful writer? Can I call myself a writer? Questions like these eat at us off and on, and for some writers, they are constant little naggers.
Many years ago, I attended my first ever writing conference in Kansas City. The morning workshops were so interesting and inspiring. Next came a lovely luncheon in the hotel ballroom. As the servers cleared tables, the luncheon speaker was introduced. She was a well-known essayist in the Kansas City area. Her goal that day was to make us all realize and understand that we were writers. Sounds simple, doesn't it? We were at a writing conference so why wouldn't we be writers? The problem was that a large number of those in the early days of their writing journey did not consider themselves a true writer. By the time the woman concluded her speech, everyone in the room knew they could call themself a writer. They knew the next time someone asked what they did, the answer would be I am a writer. It wasn't necessary to add that you'd never been published. If you write, you are a writer. It was even suggested that we stand in front of a mirror and repeat I am a writer multiple times until we could repeat it in public to another person.
Look in a mirror and say I am a writer enough times, and you'll begin to believe it. Your self-confidence will begin to grow slowly but surely like those flowers in the garden. Concentrate on the first part of self-confidence--the 'self' section. It's you who are in charge of your own self-confidence. It's you who must climb above that self'-doubt.
What about those questions I mentioned in the fifth paragraph? Answer with a negative, and you'll continue to sink, but use some positives in your answers and the self-confidence will slowly grow. Add a bit of determination, and it will grow a little faster. It's all about YOU.
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