Are You Guilty of Head Hopping?

The girl in today's poster seems to be perfectly happy in a favorite spot and reading a book. If it's a good story and well-written, she will continue with being content. If the writer of the story takes liberties and does some nonconforming methods, the young lady could end up with a frown on her face and feeling slightly disoriented.

If the writer uses head-hopping to write his/her story, the reader can end up confused and maybe a bit fidgety. Are you familiar with head-hopping? 

It all comes down to POV, or Point Of View. We normally choose one character to be the POV person. Readers see the story happening through this person's eyes; they are privy to his/her thoughts and observations. This is called Third Person Limited. 

When you're writing a scene with three people in it, the only thoughts you should be reading about are that POV character. Let's say that Rita is your POV character and she is sitting at a table having coffee with Joan and Nell. The reader learns what Rita is thinking as she chats with her two friends. If the writer suddenly lets us see Joan's thoughts and then Nell's, that's head-hopping. It disorients the reader, even if subconsciously. To some readers, it can be jarring. They think Hey, whose story is this?

Do we want to know what Joan and Nell are thinking? Most likely, we do, but the writer needs to convey that in other ways. It can be done through actions or dialogue, even a combination of both. 

Look at the conversation between the three women below:

    "How would you like to go to the beach with me?" Rita asked as she ran her finger around the rim of her cup. 

    Joan didn't want to go to the beach ever again. Not after what had happened to her the last time. 

    Nell couldn't understand why Rita would have even asked them. 

Do you see that we are suddenly into the minds of all three characters instead of only Rita? It is better to write the scene something like this:

    Rita ran her finger around the rim of her cup. "How would you like to go to the beach with me?"

    Joan gasped, sat on the edge of her chair and slapped the table top. "How could you ask me to go there after what happened?

    Nell glared at Rita as she put her arm around Joan's shoulders. She said nothing.

In this version, you get the idea of what each is thinking or feeling, but you're only seeing it through Rita's dialogue. 

If you allow the reader to get into the heads of three people in one scene, it's like trying to write three separate stories. Let the reader see the story through that POV character. There are books that use two, or even three, points of view, but the writer does it in a uniform way like heading each chapter with the person's name. That way, the reader can delve into the three main characters with a bit more depth. Just don't do it all in one scene.

With space and time constraints, I've only touched on head-hopping. If you would like further information, use your favorite search engine to look for articles on same.