Watch Those Passive Verbs!

Sometimes we adult writers need to go back to school, if even for a very short time. Our English teachers gave us the toolkit to use as we write our stories, essays, nonfiction articles and poems. Even so, we can use a bit of a refresher course now and then. And being a teacher from way back, I will step up today and remind you about one important part of our writing. 

When I critique the work of the others in my online writing group, one of the things I mark over and over again (and other critiquers do, as well) is the repeated use of passive verbs. We pump out those 'to be' forms like is, was, are without a thought as to what they do to your overall piece of writing. 

We all do it, especially in a first draft. When you don't catch them during an edit and submit your work filled with passive verb forms, you lessen your chances of acceptance. 

So, what's wrong with those passive verbs? We all use them in our daily conversations. What's the big deal? Too many passive verbs and we end up with plain vanilla when we could have chocolate if we use active verbs. Sentences with myriad passive verbs are rather blah. Change them to something that shows action and your reader sits up and takes notice, subconsciously perhaps, but their inner mind tells them this is a more interesting read than some. 

Some examples:

A.  The reason was that the girl was afraid she would be laughed at. (3 passive verbs)

B.  She feared others might laugh at her so she ran inside her house. (No passives/more interesting)

A.  The clown was funny and he was the hit of the show.(2 passive verbs)

B.  The funny clown proved the hit of the show.  (used adjective and then a semi-active verb)

Some writers question how to get rid of those passive verbs. There are sentences in which you can just substitute an active verb and change nothing else in the sentence. Sometimes, reversing the order allows a writer to use a more active verb. You can also use the object of the verb as an adjective as shown in The funny clown... in the first B example above. 

When you are ready to edit, you can move painstakingly through the text searching for passive verbs and make changes. If you use Word to write your stories and more, there is a handy little gadget that will make short work of finding those passives. 

Open your document and you should be on the Home page of the many choices at the top of the document. Move to the far right until you see a list of words that start with 'Find.'  Click on Find and a box will show at the left side of your document. Type in the word you want to check. I used was in the document I wanted to check. Like magic, each was in the 1700 word document showed up ion a brownish highlight color. I chose something written long ago and I used was. To be honest, my reaction can only be described as shock. I had a bushel basket of that tiny little, and oh so passive, verb.

If you use some other program to write, it most likely provides a similar provision for you to check words. You can use it to check any word, not only the passive verbs. Try it with a few of your documents filed away for future use (hopefully). 

Is there ever a time you can use passive forms like was? Of course! We'll never eliminate all passive verbs. Like all things, use them in moderation. Watch the overuse, especially when one sentence has three or more in it. I critiqued a submission yesterday where the word was showed up three times in one overly-long sentence. That is a no-no. 

Remember that active verbs provide interest and your job as a writer is to keep your readers interested.