Family Stories Are More Important Than We Realize

The picture above is of me and two of my three younger brothers, taken in 1947. The third one didn't come along until 7 years later. At the time of this photo, I was 8, Howard on the left was 4 and Paul, in the middle, was under a year. Howard was brunette and Paul and I had auburn hair. I remember that my dress was aqua blue.

Paul, aged 71, passed away in his sleep Wednesday night. He had faced multiple health problems from infancy to the very end. Even so, his death was a shock to all his family and friends. We will gather as a family to celebrate his life this week-end in North Carolina, far from the Chicago suburb where we all grew up. As we all married and made several moves, we spread pretty much from coast to coast.

Even so, we have kept in touch through the several means of doing so we now have. Somehow, on phone calls, texts and emails, the miles disappear. When we have the rare opportunity to spend time together at a wedding, or as now, a funeral, the "Remember when...." stories emerge one after another.

Several years ago, I made a book of Family Stories for each of my three brothers. I had thought about it for a long time but had not taken the time to accomplish the project. I'm sure many of you have had the good intentions and not quite made it happen. Please do it sooner rather than later.

It's now that those family stories will have even more meaning for Paul's family. Those oft-told family stories paint a picture of each family member. His grandchild and future great-grandchildren will be able to hold on to those stories. They'll understand what his life was like growing up in a large family that lived in a small apartment. They'll learn about Paul's parents and grandparents and his siblings. His granddaughter has known him all her life and has had the great privilege of living only minutes away from him and her grandmother. Having the Family Stories book will allow her future children to know who their great-grandfather was, learn about  his roots and more.

Regular readers here know that I am constantly urging people, both writers and non-writers, to get those family stories written and assembled somewhere. It's a partial history of family. When babies are born, mothers often receive, or purchase, a Baby Book to record memories, dates of injections, diseases and special events in the child's life. They reach a certain age and mom stops keeping that record. Those family stories can carry it on to the ends of life.

Don't retell only the funny, heart-warming things that happened in the family. Add the tragedies, the times when anger took center stage, or when you weren't very proud of a family member. The good and the bad swirl together to create the whole family story.

Write one story at a time, not a great many at once. Make up the book and keep adding a story each time you write one. They add up faster than you think. Do it for yourself and for your living family and for future family members, too. Do it soon.

Memories of my brother, Paul, are running through my mind like a video. It's dawned on me that I still have a lot more family stories to write. He wanted the Cubs to win one World Series before he left this earth. He got that wish and, oh, how happy it made him. There's a story about Paul, when he was a kid, and my dad knocking heads over the Cubs and the Chicago White Sox. Paul liked the Cubs but he cheered on the Sox just to make Dad mad and then....well, a story to be written.