Writers Must Let the Negatives Go

 

Have you ever let a rejection hug you until you are angry or depressed? 

Have you ever smarted from an editor's comment questioning your ability to write well enough to be published?

Have you ever been cut to the core by a red inked comment a teacher put across the top of your paper in an English class? 

Have you ever been deeply hurt by a negative critique?

Have you ever berated yourself because you have far fewer publications than submissions?

As writers, we've all been through some truly negative moments. What you don't want to do is dwell on them. The more you do, the worse you feel, and it changes nothing.

Our poster today tells us that we should let go of anything that we can't change. The quote finishes with 'Don't be a prisoner to things you can't change.' 

Letting it go isn't as easy as a snap of the fingers. When something upsets you, embarrasses you, or pulls you down, you may have to work at letting it go. You can't always just brush it off and move on. 

As I've said more than once, try to list the positives in your writing life. Let that list take precedence over the things that are hurtful. And realize this:  All writers have negative times, have bad days, have maddening situations. The important thing is to look at them, assess the situation carefully, and ask yourself what you should do next. You don't want to wallow in a pity party. You should know by now that no one attends these events other than yourself. 

Look forward, not behind you. Think about how you can change those troublesome times. Don't merely think about it; do something positive. 

Writers--Nix the Negativity!

I read a fascinating article/essay in Saturday's Wall Street Journal about the role of positives vs negatives in our lives. Of course, I equated it to the writing life, as well as my own personal life.

Psychologists studied the topic thinking the positives in life would be the stronger of the two. Much to their surprise, the opposite outcome resulted from their studies. The essay in the WSJ was adapted from a new book by John Tierney, a contributing editor to City Journal and Dr. Roy F. Baumeister, a research psychologist at the University of Queensland. The title of their book is The Power of Bad:  How the Negativity Effect Rules Us and How We Can Rule It--to be published by Penguin Press this week.

They found that bad health makes a bigger difference than good health, that a negative photo stimulates more electrical activity in the brain than a positive one, that " ...the pain of criticism is much stronger than the pleasure of praise." More about the book, its reviews, and the place to order can be found here.

The book deals with life in general, politics and more, but the portion I read made me consider our writing journeys. With the theory the authors present--that the negatives are far stronger than the positives we encounter--is it any wonder that writers get depressed with those rejections, bumpy roads to publication, and all the other little things in our writing lives that could be classified as negative? Look at that quote once more: "...the pain of criticism is much stronger than the pleasure of praise." It makes it seem as though we are up against a very tall wall in our writing journey. We know the 'pain of criticism' all too well.

Look at the woman in the photo above. It's pretty obvious that she's experiencing the negatives, isn't it? According to the authors of the book reviewed in the article, she will need to have a ratio of four positives to one negative to overcome those nasty feelings. If our negatives are so much stronger, we writers must work harder to overcome them and focus on the positives in our writing life. 

Granted, there are days when focusing on the good stuff isn't so easy. You'll need to work at doing so. We can't just say Oh, la-de-dah, everything's coming up roses. You may have to search hard to achieve that 4 to 1 ratio. If you're a list maker, start the negative and positive lists for your writing life. I hope you can make the positive list a great deal longer than the other one. 

We're at the threshold of a new year which seems to be a perfect time to make nixing the negativity one of your goals for 2020. Remember this--the more negatives you allow into your writing life, the harder it will be to focus on the positives. Once again, it's all up to you to overcome the downers. Maybe reading this brand new book might help.