Put a Positive Spin in Your Writing

 

A repeat post from my blog files:

Remember Pollyanna, the girl who put a positive spin on just about everything in life? No matter what misery came along, she smiled her way through it. She's obviously not a real person. Eleanor Porter, the woman who created Pollyanna must have wanted to send a strong message to her readers about facing life with the right attitude. Her character carried it to extremes at times, but she definitely made a point.

The problem is that very few of us can look at every part of our life with a smile as big as the girl in the book and movie. I'm one who tries hard to keep a positive outlook as much as possible, but there are times when you just cannot do it, times when the sadness in your life overshadows all else.

There are periods in your writing life when you write about sadness, tragedy, and the downside of life. It's perfectly alright to do that. I think it serves a purpose for both the reader and the writer. The reader can take comfort in the fact that others also meet adversity in everyday life. They see a kindred spirit, and perhaps they can find a positive message somewhere within the sadness of the story. The writer finds a release in writing about a dark spot in life and can offer solace in some way to the reader.

Let's face it. Life isn't always great. Yesterday, I read two poems written by a woman who had never submitted her work anywhere. They were well written, but both centered on an abused woman. She managed to bring forth some outstanding emotion in her poems. Any other woman who had lived with a controlling individual could readily relate. I read a Christmas letter about a tragic time in a friend's life, but she managed to find a scripture verse that fit perfectly. I knew her outlook was positive.

Death is a subject some writers avoid at all costs, while others embrace the subject in their writing. Death is a part of life, and I think we need to address it in our writing, too. I've stood at the graves of two of my children and both my parents with myriad thoughts swirling through my mind. And I've written about it. Comments from readers let me know it was alright to share my grief with others. Doing so may have helped some who read my story, and I know it eased my sadness.

Writers face all the joys and sorrows of everyday, ordinary people. Who better to write about both the happy and sad times of life? My hope is that they manage to incorporate a thread of hope that the reader can grasp and hold onto. You see, the Pollyanna in me wants it.

Write about Sad Times, Too

 Amongst all the enjoyable early fall activities this weekend, we mark the 20th anniversary of 9-11. Certainly the most somber part of our weekend and a tragedy we must never forget. Yet, today, I saw college students being interviewed saying they didn't want to hear the gruesome details nor did they want to be told who was responsible. Have the children today been so protected that they cannot stand to learn of tragic happenings in our history? If so, that's sad. All the tragedies America has experienced through the years have a bearing on what our life is like today. I feel strongly that children, at a proper age, need to learn what happened.

In that same respect, today[s post is centered on writing about the sad or tragic happenings in your life. Many memoirs center on sad lives and how certain experiences influenced the rest of a person's life. These memoirs sell. Readers seem drawn to reading about the difficult times in a person's life. Maybe because they can relate to it, or maybe to learn from what was written. 

As my regular readers know, I am a big proponent of writing family stories. Many who take up this task write about the happy times, the laughing times, the warm family gatherings. That's great, but every family has sad happenings, too. Some are even tragic. We need to write about them, as well.

Maybe an uncle went to jail for theft. His situation affects the other people in the family. Some will be angry while others may be sympathetic. Some may want to cover it up, keep the incarceration a secret, which is pretty hard to accomplish. Some family members will be heartbroken, some will feel ashamed. It's a part of your family history so don't hesitate to write about it. Write about it, but don't judge. 

Perhaps, a member of your family died in battle in the military. Definitely nothing to be ashamed of but not easy to write about either. Gold Star families take great pride in the service their loved one gave. Again, write about it and how it affected different family members. 

There are many other tragic happenings in our lives--a jilted bride or groom, the loss of an infant or a small child, the loss of a teen, loss of a spouse, dealing with dementia.. Writing about these sad times can be one step in the healing process. Not a cure, but one step in healing. People who live with issues like this have so much hurt welled up inside. Writing about what happened or is still happening is a kind of release. Even a little of that can be helpful.

Chicken Soup for the Soul has a call for stories for a new book on grieving and how a person overcame it or found some peace. I am working on a story for that book. The deadline to submit is September 30th. Read the guidelines and tips here. You might have a story to write and submit for this book. Or you may write the story to include in your family stories. You can also write it only for yourself, and that is perfectly fine. We're all different people and have various feelings on this subject. 

Mark the 9-11 anniversary in whatever way feels right to you--on your own or with your family. I wish those young people who didn't want to hear about the gruesome details or hear who did it will be willing to listen. Most of all, I'd like them to learn of the tremendous outpouring of love people gave to the families of the victims. I'd like them to know how our country pulled together. We were all Americans, not of one political party or the other, not of this religion or that one, nor of any specific racial group. We grieved together. That, too, is an important part of our history.

Write About The Sad Times In Life

Today's topic is not an easy one but I think it merits discussion. Life is never all giggles and joy. Nearly everyone experiences sad times as they make a lifteime journey on this earth. Some people must deal with true tragedies as well. It is my belief that writing about the difficult times can be beneficial in several ways. 

1. Bottling the hurt inside doesn't help healing. Talking to others about a sad or tragic time in your life is a form of emotional release. It doesn't matter whether you tell your story to a licensed therapist or a trusted friend. We need someone to listen. It's a part of the healing process. Writing about the situation can act as the same kind of release. If you never show what you've written to another soul, it's OK. Write it for yourself or for others. That's your choice.

2. Your experience can be of great help to others going through a similar situation. If we are having a rough time and we read that someone else has gone through the same thing and is able to talk about it, we can feel like a weight has been lifted. Oh certainly not completely but even if it's little by little, it helps. We don't feel so alone.

3. Reading what someone else has written about a terrible happening can motivate you to do the same. If they can do it, so can I might be the way you feel when you've learned about someone else's troubles. That motivation to write your own story might help begin the healing process.

Very few people can write this kind of memory piece while they are living the trauma. It takes some time to reach the point where you can do so. I don't think you can write about it once and claim victory. It takes multiple writings with each one helping you progress a little more. 

I've written numerous times about the two children we lost long ago as infants. It took many years before I was able to do so, but with each memory piece I wrote about those two very sad times in my life, the raw wound began to ease into a dull ache. It also helped me to know that perhaps my story would ease the pain of another mother who had lost a child. Those stories are a part of my Memory Book. Definitely included as a family story.

Too often, writers turn away from writing about the tragedies in their past life. To overcome we must face it head on. One word of caution--if the only thing you write about is your trials and tribulations and do it constantly, readers will turn elsewhere. Moderation is key here. Find the middle of the road and stay on it but do write about sad times. You'll know when the time is right.