Grammar/Haiku For You

A friend sent me the following and I found it to be most interesting and amusing so wanted to share it with you. I checked the links about National Grammar Day, Mark Allen, and Allen's blog. He is a journalist and former editor who has an interest in promoting grammar and word usage--something we, as writers, should pay attention to so you might want to check out his blog.

I found it interesting that the contest was done through twitter. I resisted having a twitter account for a long time, but a writer friend encouraged me to try it. I don't use it several times a day like some people do, but I do post the blog topics and it's brought more traffic.

The results of the grammar.haiku  contest are posted below. Some are very clever. The one that made me laugh is the second place winner. You might try writing one of these yourself. If you do, post it in the comments section.




March 4th was National Grammar Day, and one of the events held to celebrate the occasion was a Grammar Haiku Contest, overseen by editor Mark Allen. Language lovers were asked to post grammar- or usage-based haikus on Twitter, and nearly 200 entries were submitted. Herewith, from Allen's blog, the winning haiku and the runners-up, as determined by a distinguished panel of judges.
First place:

Being a dangler,
Jane knew it would have to come
out of the sentence— Larry Kunz, @larry_kunz

Second place:

Tiny hyphen mark
marries words, charms editor.
Turns out to be lint.
— @APvsChicago

Third place:

Tree in full word bloom
falling across the blackboard
sentence diagram
— Bob Schroeder, @BobSchroeder5

Fourth place:

If I were to say
I missed you, oh subjunctive,
would that set the mood?
— Michelle Baker, @corpwritingpro

Fifth place:

My word, your syntax
stirs the imperative mood:
Let's coordinate
— Stan Carey, @StanCarey (Visual Thesaurus contributor!)

Honorable mentions:

After a sentence
be like Obi-Wan and just
hit the space bar once.— Holly Ashworth, @ActuallyHolly
First person: I love.
Second person: You love me.
Third person: Uh, oh.— Rachel Cooper, @RachelCooper_NS
Dangling oddly
I conjured absurdities
With modifiers.— Tom Freeman, @SnoozeInBrief
Loose rhymes with moose and
lose with booze, which I want to
drink when they're confused— @shaunarum
Judge me not grammar
I have memorized your rules
they shatter like glass— Gerri Berendzen, @gerrrib
Wanted: one pronoun,
To take the place of he/she
"They" need not apply— Charlie MacFadyen, @csmacf
People shouldn't say
"I could care less" when they mean
"I could care fewer"— Tom Freeman, @SnoozeInBrief

Go Ahead--Toot Your Own Horn!

Our mothers tried to teach us to be humble. "Don't brag about yourself," they admonished. And we listened and learned. Those childhood lessons stay with us, and so it's difficult for many writers to build a platform and let others know of their accomplishments.

It may be difficult, but it's also very necessary. Doing the writing is easy, but marketing your work and selling yourself are harder.Let's concentrate today on selling yourself as a writer.Unless you're a highly acclaimed novelist with a New York City agent, you're the one who will have to sell yourself to the public. It's you who must create a following of readers.

So, how are you going to do that? One way is to let people on the social media outlets know when you have a story published. One good reason to sign up for facebook or twitter, if you haven't done so already. I have a number of author friends on facebook who do this, and I never consider them bragging. Instead, I'm delighted to know when they've had a success. Sometimes, they'll add a link to the story, and that's even better as I can see firsthand what they've written.

Send the news to your family and friends, with a link to read the newly published piece, if possible. Or put it with the message as an attachment. There might be a few who will be jealous, or maybe envious. There is a difference between the two. I think it's OK to be envious but not so with jealousy. If they are, let them feel that way, you have no reason to feel bad that you've done something worthwhile. If you send your new story, or link to it, to friends and family, odds are that they are going to send it on to their circle of friends, or at least to some of them.

If you belong to a state authors organization that highlights news of members publications, take advantage of the opportunity and send them your publishing news. And if you don't belong to a writers organization, join one!

Accept any speaking engagements that come along. It's hard for some people to stand before others and talk, and more so to talk about yourself. You hear your mom warning you to stop bragging, but brush that aside. It's the golden opportunity to sell yourself and your work to readers. I was nervous as a cat the first time I did this, but I found out that I enjoyed it. Sure, I still get a little nervous when I first start speaking, but in less than a minute, I'm off and running and having a good time. And the audience knows a little more about me and the kind of things I write. If you aren't invited to speak, offer to do a program. Clubs and groups are usually looking for programs.

If you are fortunate enough to have a story published in an anthology like Chicken Soup for the Soul, there will be press releases sent out by the publisher to your local radio, TV and newspapers. Some will contact you for a possible appearance or news story, while many will not. If you want some publicity, it's up to you to follow up and remind them of the press release.

It's up to you to sell yourself. Go ahead--toot your own horn!