Passive vs Active Verbs

Exercising is Action

I noted a comment on Facebook yesterday that made me stop and ponder for a moment. A memoir writer, new to writing I'm guessing, asked a question about verb tense usage and then added that she noticed an awful lot of the word was in her writing. Let's take a look at verbs like was.

The use of the passive verb was and others like is, was, are were is pretty common while writing a first draft. When we're trying to get the main idea down in an initial draft, we aren't thinking about the kind of verbs we use. The very experienced writer will automatically steer to the more active verbs because--well, because of long experience. More of us have to give serious thought to the kind of verbs we use, and it's a very good reason why we must, must, must proofread and edit those beginning efforts.

In our clipart above, we take note of a person performing a series of exercises. He is active. Consider some of the verbs you might use to describe his exercising:  bend, tilt, stretch, rise, pull.  The man is active and your verbs should follow his example. 

In Gary Provost's boo 100 Ways to Improver Your Writing, he says "Generally speaking, verbs are weak when they are not specific, are not active, or are unnecessarily dependent on adverbs for their meaning."  In this instance, he was discussing strong verbs vs weak ones. 

Take a look at these examples:

                      Weak                                                                Strong

There was a curio cabinet in the corner.                    A curio cabinet towered in the corner.

There are two men on the curb.                                Two men sit near one another on the curb.

In the first example, using the verb towered in place of was gave a much better picture. It tells us the size of the cabinet. Note in the second example that the stronger sentence tells us exactly what they are doing, sitting not standing. In order to use a different verb in this sentence, I had to change the order of the sentence a bit, and I added a little more.  

Sometimes, you need to change the order of a sentence when changing to a more active verb. And that's fine. You can't always pluck the weak verb from the sentence and plop a better one in the same spot.  Did you notice that was is often accompanied by the word there? Some writers get in the habit of using There was, There are, There is, There were and it becomes habitual. 

Some writers might say Who cares about passive verbs. I use them all the time. No big deal. You can use them; we have no law that says you're forbidden to use passive verbs. However, if you change as many as possible to active verbs, your writing will be stronger and more interesting. We're always advising writers to show rather than tell. Those active verbs will help you do more showing.

Just for fun, get one of your stories, essays etc out of your files and go through it, marking all the passive verbs. Underline each one with a color that will stand out. You might be surprised at how many you find. Then, as a writing exercise, replace as many as possible with active verbs.                                            

Can Santa Help With Using Better Verbs?

You might ask Santa to gift you with some ways to make your writing better. Until he comes, here's something you might work on yourself. We all use many passive verbs in everyday conversation. Consider how many times you include the words was, is, were or some variation of them. We do it subconsciously as a method of economizing our speech. Those words are short and we know the point of what we’re saying lies in the words that surround those bland verbs. But as writers, we need to find verbs that show the reader something, verbs that bring out sensory details. Using too many passive verbs is the mark of a new writer. I profess to guilt in that department, too, when I first started writing. Besides the passive verbs. there are some that are rather mundane or boring--used too often. Using an abundance of passive or boring verbs comes under the heading of Lazy Writing. Which of the following sentences are more interesting? Which ones give a mental picture to the reader? A. She is sad. B. Sadness engulfed her. A. We went to the beach. B. We motored to the beach. A. We were hot in the sun. B. We roasted in the blazing sun. A. Alice turned around, her skirt moved, too. B. Alice twirled until her skirt billowed. The B sentences all bring a mental picture to mind and allow the reader to get into the scene far better than those passive verbs in the A sentences. In the final set, A has semi-active verbs, what we might call weak verbs. Again, the ones used in B are far more interesting and give a more vivid picture. When you finish the first draft of a story or essay, look through it and mark the passive verbs with a highlighter. You might be shocked to see how many there are sprinkled throughout your story. Then try to find active verbs to replace them. Use a thesaurus if you need some help. Read your work from beginning to end and you’ll see how much stronger and more interesting it sounds. Work on using active verbs whenever possible.

Strive For Strong Verbs

This is a repeat of a post from a couple years ago. Grammar and word usage are not always the most exciting topics, but they are essential in good writing. So take a look at passive versus active verbs. 

Passive vs Active Verbs

We all use many passive verbs in everyday conversation. Consider how many times you include the words was, is, were or some variation of them. We do it subconsciously as method of economizing our speech. Those words are short and we know the point of what we’re saying lies in the words that surround those bland verbs.

But as writers, we need to find verbs that show the reader something, verbs that bring out sensory details. Using too many passive verbs is the mark of a new writer. I profess to guilt in that department, too, when I first started writing.

Which of the following sentences are more interesting? Which ones give a picture to the reader?

1. She is sad.
2. Sadness engulfed her.

1. We went to the beach.
2. We motored to the beach.

1. We were hot in the sun.
2.  We roasted in the blazing sun.

1. Alice turned around, her skirt moved, too.
2. Alice twirled until her skirt billowed.

The B sentences all bring a mental picture to mind and allow the reader to get into the scene far better than those passive verbs in the A sentences. In the final set, A has semi-active verbs, what we might call weak verbs. Again, the ones used in B are far more interesting and give a more vivid picture.

When you finish the first draft of a story or essay, look through it and mark the passive verbs. Then try to find active verbs to replace them. Use a thesaurus if you need some help. Read your work from beginning to end, and you’ll see how much stronger and more interesting it sounds. Work on using active verbs whenever possible.

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Passive Verb Surgery

Books that deal with the craft of writing nearly always address the issue of passive vs. active verbs. They do it for a very good reason. A story or article filled with active verbs makes for interesting reading and the ones with 90% of the verbs being passive sit like a dullard. 

Stories with lots of active verbs glow while those with mostly passive verbs appear gray and dismal. I think what often happens is that we write a first draft and the passive verbs come to us automatically as we strive to get the main idea of the story or nonfiction article across. That's fine, but we can't let it stay that way if we want to see it published someday. 

Let the piece simmer a day or two or even three, then go back and make revisions. To begin with, go through the draft from start to finish and mark every passive verb you find. If you're computer savy, you can set a program to find how many times you used was, is, are, went kind of verbs. But you can do it on your own in a short time, too. 

Then look for active verbs you can substitute for the passive ones. Be careful not to repeat them. Those repetitions stand out more than you think. Read the story with the new verbs, and I feel quite certain you'll find a far more interesting piece of writing than that first draft. Then it's on to other revisions. 

An exercise to help:  Take a sentence with was in it and rewrite it in as many ways as you can using active verbs. Sometimes, you may need to reverse the order, not just insert a new word.

Example:  

Mary went to the store.

Try:

Mary ran to the store.

Mary drove to the store.

Mary strolled to the store.

Mary flew to the store.

In the first sentence, we have no idea of Mary's mood as she makes a trip to the store, but in three out of the next four, we have an inkling of what her mood is.  

Now try a sentence like this one:  John and his horse went over the fence. Find active verbs to show the reader how they went over the fence.