Tips for Writing Your Family Stories

 

My regular readers know that one of my pet projects is encouraging people to write their family stories. Writers and non-writers alike. You don't need to be a professional writer to record your family history through stories of incidents and events. Anyone can do it. 

There are websites to help. Use any search engine and enter 'how to write family stories', and you'll be amazed at the number of helpful articles that pop up. 

There is a difference between family stories and family history. The latter is made up of facts and figures...names and dates of marriages, births, deaths, places lived. Family stories are more personal letting future generations know more about the personalities of family members as well as significant things that happened within the family. Both good events and sad or bad. It's all part of your family history. You don't want to sugarcoat your family members in every story. Tell it like it is. Or was! You can do this without being nasty or cruel. 

My mother often mentioned an uncle of hers who she said was 'the meanest man on the earth'. When he died, he left money to all his nieces and nephews, so the man had a good side, as well. Many of our relatives have more than one side. Try to find the good side when you can.

A few tips when writing family stories: 

A. Use sensory details to make the individuals seem rea--sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.

B. Try to show the place where the story happens. City, farm, ranch, island, ocean? 

C. Do more than tell the story. Show us what happened. That's where the sense of place and sensory details come in.

D. Use active verbs instead of relying on passive ones like is, was, were, are.

E. Use some adjectives to help with description, but keep it to one, two at the most. Otherwise, it sounds too saccharin.

F. Dialogue helps bring the story alive. You probably can't remember dialogue word for word, but you will remember the gist of what was said. It's alright to create dialogue as long as the meaning is the same as what was said.

G. Humor is always welcome in any story. There are many humorous things that happen in our families. They beg to be repeated.

H. Don't shy away from sad stories. They should be told. They are part of what makes people who they are. The same with tragic events in a family. Tell them with kindness.

I. It's not necessary to write the stories chronologically. Write them as they come to you. 

J. Describe the characters in your stories. What relation were they to you? Physical attributes. The kind of person he/she was. Weave all this into your individual story. 

Keep a file of the stories you write. Both on your computer and hard copies saved in a large 3-ring binder. Computers fail us at times, so those hard copies are important. 

Many people say they want to write their family stories. They think about it, they talk about it, but that's as far as it goes. Start with one story, save it, then go on to the next. You don't have to keep at it day by day. Write when the mood moves you, but do try to do it with some regularity. The longer you are away from the project, the easier it is to stay away. Maybe aim for one a week. 

If you do write your family stories, you'll have a certain sense of satisfaction. Our family memories are treasures, so why not share them with other family members and leave them for future family members.