Today I'm repeating a wonderful post from a Guest Blogger, Molly Samuels. Molly is both writer and artist so she has faced rejection in two of the creative art worlds. She has an interesting angle about rejection. Molly's words are ones you will ponder on long after reading them.
Here is Molly's original post:
Rejection hurts. Your insides shrivel, your brain shrinks, your eyes burn and maybe tears spill over. Rejection might even make you feel like you want to die. In fact, you do die a little, because everything seems to shut down. So why do we writers, and other creatives, set ourselves up for rejection every time we submit our gorgeous words for publication? I am also an artist, and as an artist, I continue to court rejection each time I submit an art quilt for an exhibit. When the inevitable rejection letter comes back, I tell myself I will never, ever go though this pain again -- until the next time.
But rejection doesn’t have to be a negative. I’m a firm believer in the adage, “The Universe will provide what you need, not what you want.” What we need and what we want are totally different outcomes. We might WANT to gain acceptance to a certain exhibit, or to sell an article, or even to wear a Size 10 again, but do we NEED those things? Not necessarily. When faced with rejection, ask yourself what you really need.
During my quest as a new writer to find an agent, I eventually came to expect The Dreaded Rejection Letter. I’d shrug off the disappointment and file the letter away. One more rejection ticked off on the way to the limit I set for myself before giving up. How many rejections can you handle at any one time? One? Two? Twenty? I racked up over forty rejections on my first novel before I decided to move on to a different project.
Luckier with my second novel, I found a publisher before the Fateful Fortieth rejection arrived. He said I only had to make certain changes, and he’d publish my novel. Unfortunately, those changes meant a major rewrite. Since I didn’t even like my main character, I decided not to go through the hassle, and moved on. My choice. I thought I wanted that novel published, but it turned out I didn’t need it. What I NEEDED was validation. That’s what the publisher gave me, and that made me happy.
J.K. Rowling collected many more than forty rejections. I forget how many. A thousand? Whatever. She believed in Harry Potter and needed for her dream to be published, so she kept going. Just look at her reward! Nancy Julien Kopp will tell you to persevere in the face of rejection, to never give up -- and she’s right. But consider, too, the Want vs Need angle.
If your work is continually rejected, that can be a good thing. Why is it being rejected? Take a long, hard look at your product and then decide if putting it out there for public consumption will give you what you want or what you desperately need. If the reward is merely something you want, you may decide to forget it and move on to something that appeals to you more. However, if it’s something you need, you’ll learn from those rejections, make the proper adjustments (even a major rewrite!) and send your work out again and again. Eventually, that rejection stream will end in a sale.
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