Hearing vs Listening

I hear ya! It's a common phrase. People hear what we tell them but are they actively listening? There's a major difference between hearing and listening. 

It didn't take me long during my first year of teaching 4th grade that the children always heard me but they didn't listen to the directions I was giving so either did the assignment incorrectly or wore a path to my desk to ask questions. 

One of the tools a writer needs is to be an active listener. When you go to a writing workshop, do you truly listen to what is being offered, or do you sit in the chair and hear the words but they slide right on through you? To be a good listener you should sit up and give your full attention to the person speaking. Block out those other thoughts for the duration of the workshop talk.

When you read a reference book with a writing theme, do you scan the paragraphs or do you read them so that they come through to your brain and make sense? Reading is a different form of hearing/listening but it works the same way.

When you attend a writing group, do you hear the others while doodling on the piece of paper in front of you, or do you focus on what is being said, truly listening? If the person is reading something and hoping for a critique, you'd be able to give a much better critique if you listened carefully as the other writer read aloud.

If you and a writer friend spend a couple hours having coffee and talking about your writing life, do you hear his/her chatter, or do you actually listen to what your friend is telling you? One on one meetings between writers often offer sage advice. Again, it's worthwhile to truly listen to what your friend tells you.

What about if you send in a submission and a rejection bounces back, but it also has a note from the editor. Do you read it quickly, then mutter a few words before stomping off to the kitchen to get something to snack on? It would benefit you to read that note carefully. What the editor is telling you might be key to fixing the story or to what kind of place to send it the next time. Reading with care is also a form of listening; what you read goes straight to your mind where it registers just as it does when someone speaks the words in person. 

Learning to listen requires giving your full attention to the person speaking ( or writing ) to you. Tune out the distractions and zero in on the speaker and stay with them. If you find your mind wandering, or something outside the window catching your attention, stop it as soon as you can. If it helps, flick your fingers on your wrist, or some other action so that you are listening. 

Hearing but not listening is a common failing. You've done it; I've done it. Recognizing it and taking steps to improve your listening powers is worthwhile. And yes, your writing will benefit. Think of all that good info your mind has stored away when you've listened carefully. It's there for you to use when needed.