Friday, June 1, 2018

Adverbs and Dialogue Tags

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When we write dialogue, we use tags to let the reader know who is speaking. The preferred word is 'said.' Beginning writers often have the urge to use many others to let the reader know how the speaker is saying whatever it is.

Instead of Mary said, the writer will use Mary screeched, Mary moaned, Mary cried. If you want to let the reader know how Mary is saying her lines, there are better ways. Examples below:

    "I hate the things you do, Sam," Mary said. Her voice rose higher with each word.

     "I'll never get this paper finished in time," Mary said. She put her hands over her face and heaved a great sigh.

     "Do you think this has been a picnic for me?" Mary said. Sobs shook her body.

When you say Mary screeched, Mary moaned, Mary cried, you are telling. In the three examples above using 'said,' I've tried to show what Mary is feeling. 

We use 'said' because it is a perfectly good word and readers subconsciously slip right on by. What the person says is more important. You don't want to take away from that by using fancy tags. 

Another thing we are prone to doing is using an adverb after the 'said.' Let's look at a few:  Mary said angrily, Mary said, sadly, Mary said, gleefully. Again, this comes down to telling the reader how Mary is saying the piece of dialogue. It comes under the heading of Lazy Writing. Let's look at other ways to show the reader how Mary feels. It takes a bit more thinking on the part of the writer but is better writing.

     Mary stamped her foot and shook her fist at John. "You have crossed the line this time, mister,"
she said.

     Mary wiped the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand. "I have something terrible to tell you," she said.

     Mary clapped her hands and giggled. "You'll never guess what happened this afternoon," she said.

In the examples above, I've shown the reader how Mary is feeling before writing the dialogue.  I've used the 'said' tag with each one but you could do without it because you've established that it is Mary speaking. 

If you have established a habit of adding an adverb after the 'said' tag, work on breaking it. Your story will become stronger and more interesting. 


1 comment:

  1. Your examples are very clear and helpful. Even though I've been studying how to write dialogue, sometimes articles like yours reinforce the lesson I've done.

    ReplyDelete

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