Self-doubt is the subject of today's poster. Who should we blame for self-doubt? There's a clue in the first part of the word. Self! No one else sprinkles you with this debilitating characteristic. It's not the fault of an editor or another writer or those who critique your work.
Nope. Anyone who suffers from this problem can blame only one person. Look in the mirror and you will see the person who sowed the seeds of self-doubt, nurtured them, and watched them grow. Harsh words perhaps, but to overcome this problem, you need to face facts.
How do we let self-doubt begin? We use the words of an editor or a person who critiques our work hurt us, pull us down, and make us feel unworthy. Instead, we should heed the words as a lesson to be learned. These people are not attempting to bat us down. On the contrary. Their intention is to help us see what needs to be worked on, how we can become stronger and better writers. That only works if we, as writers, accept it as meant.
Attitude plays a major role here. If your outlook is that every person who critiques your work is intent on making you feel like you are a terrible writer, then you definitely will feel that way. If you think that editors and critiquers are trying to push you out of the writing business, then you may soon convince yourself that you should quit. Stop where you are on your writing journey and return to square one.
I feel sorry for any writer who thinks like that. You become your own worst enemy. With each new critique or comment from an editor, you push yourself deeper into the hole of self-doubt. Next comes self-pity. Believe me when I tell you that the only one who comes to a pity party is you, and it can be pretty lonely.
Beginning writers are of two types--those who are inspired and passionate, ready to conquer the world of writing and those who are scared to death, worrying that they are not good enough to be a real writer. The second group begins with self-doubt. What do you think will happen as time goes on? They will feed it and allow it to become more and more worrisome. They may even develop that dreaded disease called Writer's Block.
How do you stop doubting yourself? Try the following:
A. List your successes, not your failures. Every writer has failures now and then, but it doesn't mean you are a bad writer. It means you need to work on the problem areas, learn all you can from reading about your craft, and take the words of a critique person as an aid in learning.
B. Go to that mirror again. Look into it and repeat over and over something like "I am a writer. I will be a better writer. I will learn from my mistakes." Say it often enough, and you'll begin to believe it.
C. Accept praise when it is given. Do NOT put yourself down when someone compliments you on your writing. Be happy and thankful for any compliments given.
D. Keep a journal and write something good about your writing life every day. Dwell on the positives. Once a week, read all you have written for that week.
E. Believe that all writers can improve their writing. Because there is room to be a better writer does not mean you are a bad writer. Not at all.
Don't let self-doubt become an enemy to your creativity. Remember that YOU are the one who is in control. You have a choice every day. Tear yourself down or lift yourself up. The cure doesn't happen overnight. It's gradual, but any progress is helpful to the self-doubting writer.
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