Family Stories--Tell 'Em But Write 'Em, Too

This week's post on Kathy Pooler's blog--Memoir Writers Journey--is about using letters and journals when you write memoirs. It's worth a few minutes of your time to read it because it is pertinent information when writing your family stories, too. 

Anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis know that I frequently urge people to write their family stories. I don't mean only those of us who are 'real writers' as some would say, but also the non writer who wants to keep the stories in their extended family alive. That should include myriad numbers of you.

The clip art image we have today is a perfect example of the family who gathers around the table for a holiday or a family event like a christening or graduation celebration. People pass food, heap far too much on their plate, saving room for dessert and coffee. Conversation eventually turns to a "Remember when...?" topic. The family stories get told again and again. We learn so much about our parents, grandparents, great-aunts and cousins. It's wonderful! If you're at one of these dinners, don't just listen. Ask questions and get the full story. I'm guessing several family members will have things to add to the story.

But of course, there are times when those stories are of dark periods in a family history, when something sad or tragic happened. Even the stories that tell about a division in the family over a disagreement. How long was it before one side spoke to the other again? Or did they ever? 

It's not only the good and funny times we should record in our stories. The sad times need to be recorded, too. Tell them around the table but write the stories, as well. If someone in the family doesn't do it, they will get lost as one generation passes on and more are added. Your great-grandchildren deserve to know about their ancestors, living or gone. 

Many of us think about writing those stories but never quite get to the point of sitting down and actually putting word after word. A male friend told me multiple times that he was writing his family story. He knew I was a writer and asked each time if I'd edit it for him. I always replied in the affirmative. I never saw one word he'd written. He said he's written a little bit but before he could go on, he ended up in a nursing home, had a massive stroke months later and died. He had the desire to get those stories written but it didn't happen. A lesson for all of us. 

As for me, I've written so many stories that involve people in my family but I still have many to write. I have to thank Chicken Soup calls for submissions as many of the stories I've sent them were triggered by the book theme. One on forgiveness brought a family experience to mind that I wrote about which ended up being accepted. Even if it had not, I still had a full story for my Family Stories book. 

Don't only think about writing those stories. Set a goal to write one a week. That's reasonable, or even one a month. You're more likely to let it slide if it is monthly rather than weekly. Give it a try. Your family will thank you. If you're the senior in the family, talk to a younger member who you think might carry on the task of keeping the family stories. Make sure you're not the last one to write all the events of your family.