Using Active vs Passive Verbs

 

Exercise is action

This is a repeat post on a very important topic. Strong, active verbs can make your writing come to life. 

I noted a comment on Facebook yesterday that made me stop and ponder for a moment. A memoir writer, new to writing I'm guessing, asked a question about verb tense usage and then added that she noticed an awful lot of the word 'was' in her writing. Let's take a look at verbs like this.

The use of the passive verb was and others like is, was, are, or were, is pretty common when writing a first draft. In trying to get the main idea down in an initial draft, we aren't thinking about the kind of verbs we use. The very experienced writer will automatically steer to the more active verbs because--well, because of long experience. Most of us need to give serious thought to the kind of verbs we use, and that's a very good reason why we must, must, must proofread and edit those beginning efforts.

In our clipart above, we take note of a person performing a series of exercises. He is active. Consider some of the verbs you might use to describe his exercising:  bend, tilt, stretch, rise, pull.  The man is active, and your verbs should follow his example. 

In Gary Provost's book '100 Ways to Improve Your Writing', he says "Generally speaking, verbs are weak when they are not specific, are not active, or are unnecessarily dependent on adverbs for their meaning."  In this instance, he was discussing strong verbs vs weak ones. 

Take a look at these examples:

                         Weak                                                                Strong

A. There was a curio cabinet in the corner.                    A curio cabinet towered in the corner.

B. There are two men on the curb.                                Two men sit side by side on the curb.

In the first example, using the verb towered in place of was gives a much better picture. It tells us the size of the cabinet. Note in the second example that the stronger sentence tells us exactly what the men are doing--sitting. In order to use a different verb in this sentence, I had to change the order of the sentence a bit, and I added a little more.  

Sometimes, you need to change the order of a sentence when using a more active verb. And that's fine. You can't always pluck the weak verb from the sentence and plop a better one in the same spot.  Did you notice that 'was' is often accompanied by the word 'there'? Some writers get in the habit of using There was, There are, There is, There were, and it becomes habitual. 

There are writers who might say 'Who cares about passive verbs? I use them all the time. No big deal.' You can use them; we have no law that says you're forbidden to use passive verbs. A few of them are fine. However, if you change as many as possible to active verbs, your writing will be stronger and more interesting. We're always advising writers to show rather than tell. Those active verbs will help you do more showing.

Just for fun, get one of your stories, essays or poems out of your files and go through it, marking all the passive verbs. Underline each one with a color that will stand out. You might be surprised at how many you find. Then, as a writing exercise, replace as many as possible with active verbs.                                            

 

Writers--Don't Stop Writing

 

Today's quote is pretty simple. Only seven words. Even so, it's good advice. "You fail only if you stop writing." 

There are many reasons people decide to stop writing. High among them is discouragement. How many times can you submit your work only to be rejected? Yes, we've all heard stories of writers who submitted a book manuscript numerous times before it was finally accepted. I admire those writers who didn't give up. It's not easy to keep putting yourself up for disappointment. One thing I'm guessing many of these writers all had is that they believed in what they'd written. Believing in yourself as a writer, as well as what you've written, should be high on the list of traits a writer should have. 

Problems in a writer's personal life can be so enormous that the writer has no time or will to continue writing. In cases like this, it is hoped that when the situation has calmed, the writer will go back to his/her craft. 

The writer who quits because of many rejections is one who should step back and try to figure out what he/she can do to improve. I would tell them to read books on the craft, then read some more. Attend workshops. It's amazing what you can learn in them from the instructor and form other attendees. It's easier than ever to attend a workshop as many are offered on Zoom. Look for a writing critique group but be open to taking their criticisms as a way of learning. It's too hard to try to do it all yourself. There are many kinds of help aids for writers. Avail yourself of them.

Another suggestion is to develop a tough skin. Learn to take criticism of your writing, whether it be in a classroom situation or a critique group or a note from an editor. How do you learn that? Maybe an attitude adjustment can help. Accept criticism of your writing as a learning tool. I find that the critiques I receive on the subs I send to my online writing group can open new doors into my understanding of the writing world. I consider that the members of my group are trying to help me make my submission the best it can be. 

Am I telling you to never become discouraged in your writing life? No, because there are many reasons we do become depressed over our writing life. We can rise above them if we develop a positive attitude. You don't want to give in to any discouragement you might be experiencing. 

Remember that old, possibly trite, adage that says: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." I checked to see where the quote came from but found several places that claimed it. So, who really knows when it first came to light? That doesn't matter, what the advice it gives becomes the important part. 

If you feel like you should stop writing, give some thought to the points I've made in today's post. Take a little time off if you feel the need, but if you feel the itch to write something, do come back. 

Another Way to Write a Family Story

 

On the farm

We all have family stories that we hear around the holiday dinner table or at family reunions--the same ones often repeated every year. My husband's aunt was the youngest of eight children. Her parents had immigrated from Germany and farmed in central Illinois when she was born in the early 1900's. She and I were enjoying a nice lunch in a restaurant one day when she told me an amazing story about how she and her sister a couple years older were named. "We had no names until we went to school," she said.

Her sister she referred to was my husband's mother. She went on to tell me the full story and I, in turn, told it to my husband. "What?" was his response. No one else in the family had ever told the story but we both knew his aunt would never have made up such a thing. His mother was called Baby until his aunt came along. Then the entire family called them Big Baby and Little Baby. Their father finally gave them names when it was time to start school. The names he chose offered one more surprise. 

I thought about this for a long time and decided to write a fiction story based on the true facts I'd heard over lunch that day. I used what I knew about the family and the actual names and where Papa took the names from but wrote it as I thought it might have happened. I wrote it several years ago.

The story below is the result: 

The No-Name Sisters

By Nancy Julien Kopp

(Note:  This is a fictionalized version of a true story about my husband’s mother and her younger sister.)

Papa leaned forward and in his German-accented English said, “So Katie, have you found out about this word ‘perseverance?’ Can you tell us what it means?”

Mama and the other children leaned forward in their chairs, the same way Papa had. All eyes turned to Katie, the oldest daughter, as they waited for her to enlighten them.

“It means never giving up what you have set out to do.”

Papa laughed heartily. “Then I think it is good for us all to have a little of this perseverance. Ja?”

Every head nodded in agreement with Papa. None of them ever disagreed with him, not her five older brothers, not her mama, not even Big Baby or Little Baby, her no-name sisters.

Katie wanted her sisters to have real names. Big Baby was six and Little Baby five, so they’d been without names for a long time. Once, Katie said to Papa, “In 1912 in America everyone has a name,” but he’d ignored her.

Katie loved her handsome papa. In the parlor, there was a photograph taken when he lived in Germany. He wore his Prussian army uniform and sat straight and tall on a big white horse, looking like a prince. 

During dessert, Katie asked a familiar question, “Papa, when are you going to name Big Baby and Little Baby?”

He gave the same answer as always. “Sometime soon I will do that. There is no hurry, Katie.” He cut another bite of the fresh gooseberry pie Mama had made and popped the forkful into his mouth. “Good pie, Mama, good pie.”

Katie took a deep breath and responded softly. “Oh yes there is, Papa. School will start soon, and they must have a real name to go there. Miss Taylor won’t let them stay without a name.” Tears were forming in her eyes, so she blinked hard to keep them from slipping down her cheeks. Why wouldn’t Papa name her sisters?

Her brothers all laughed until Papa silenced them with a stern look. All five boys ducked their heads and continued eating to smother their laughter. Even though they remained quiet, their eyes twinkled. Koert leaned over and poked his finger in Big Baby’s cheek.

“Sometime soon,” Papa said while he patted Katie’s arm. He pushed back his chair and placed his hands on the table. “Koert, finish your pie and go hitch Jennie and Fannie to the wagon. Mama and I are going for a little ride tonight. Jennie and Fannie whispered in my ear that they like to take long walks on a fine summer night like this.” His deep laughter rang across the kitchen.

Little Baby laughed, too. “Horses can’t talk, Papa,” she said, clapping one jam-covered hand over her mouth.

“Maybe they can, and maybe they can’t. But my horses are special treasures.” Papa twirled the ends of his mustache and winked at Mama. 

That night Katie tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep. Why was she the only one in her family bothered by her sisters’ nameless state? Mama didn’t seem to mind, and her brothers were perfectly happy calling them Big Baby and Little Baby. Even the nameless girls never complained. Only Katie fretted.

Katie turned over and fluffed her pillow. She glimpsed the silver moon out of her tiny window and pictured herself on the first day of school. In her mind, she saw herself so clearly. She held her sisters’ hands, one on each side of her, all of them with neatly braided hair. They wore clean pinafores over calico dresses, their high button shoes were polished, and their faces glowed from the morning scrubbing. She proudly presented her sisters to Miss Taylor.

The pretty picture changed when she thought about Miss Taylor asking the girls’ names. Katie punched her pillow hard as she imagined the laughter from the other pupils. She pulled the light quilt over her shoulder and then her head. She would keep on asking Papa to give the girls names, even if he became angry with her. She’d use some of that perseverance with Papa.

The next morning a tired Katie approached her father again while Mama set out brown sugar and jugs of cream for the oatmeal. “Please Papa,” Katie asked, “when are you going to give Big Baby and Little Baby a name?” She trembled inside but stood straight and tall as she waited for his answer.

His fierce look kept Katie from repeating the question that day or the next, but inside she was still anxious. Life on the farm went on as always. The boys helped Papa outside, and the girls worked with Mama in the house.

Only once did Mama mention the subject of names to Katie when they were alone. “Katie,” she said firmly, “you must not ask Papa about the names again. When he is ready, he will tell us. You must be a little bit patient and a lot quiet.”

Katie smiled at Mama and nodded, but she knew she must never give up. She’d remind Papa whenever an opportunity presented itself.

The morning before school was to begin, Papa harnessed Jennie and Fannie to the wagon so he could go to town. Mama and the girls stood on the porch waiting to wave goodbye.

Papa was halfway into the wagon when he stopped, one foot in mid-air. He jumped down and headed to the porch looking serious.

“Mama, I have decided on some names for these new schoolgirls,” he said, looking only at her. “Big Baby will be called Jennie, and Little Baby will be Fannie.”

The two little girls giggled and jumped from one foot to the other. Mama folded her hands like she did in church and smiled at Papa. Papa folded his arms one over the other and smiled back at Mama.

Katie blurted out, “But Papa, those are the horses’ names!”

“Ja! They are good names,” Papa said. “Look at those two beautiful animals. See how proud and tall they stand, with heads held high. My girls will be like them and be fine people one day. Ja! They are good names, and tomorrow the girls will take their new names and go to school.”

Mama patted Katie’s shoulder softly, and she leaned close and whispered, “You see, Katie, it all happens if you are a little bit patient and a lot quiet.”

“And if you have perseverance, Mama,” Katie whispered back. 

Writers Need to Develop Determination

 

 

Mr. Turtle in today's photo has some determination, something all writers should own, as well. They should also master developing a tough hide like his. Two good qualifications among others that would benefit writers. Let's look at each one.

Wishy-washy writer or one that is determined? Which one do you think will be more successful? Which one are you? Or are you a writer who bounces back and forth between the two? A lot of writers fall into this latter category.

If you try a new writing project and give up when it doesn't mesh together nicely, you're not going to move very far on your writing journey. You'll start myriad new writing projects and probably finish very few of them. 

I thought about my daughter when she was a toddler learning to dress herself. I'd let her try for just so long and then try to help. She'd immediately say "No!" Then, she'd try again (and again) until she was successful. Determination was an inborn trait with her. She ended up using that trait all through her growing up years and into her career. 

Not everyone is fortunate enough to be born with the trait of determination. Some have to work at it and develop the trait over many years. It's worth working to achieve that status if you want to be a successful writer. Giving up is easy. Pushing on and continuing isn't. A lot depends on how much you want your writing world to be fruitful. 

If your newest writing projects are filled with bumps and potholes, it's discouraging. We can all admit that. The important part is how you handle it. Do you dump the whole project with the first couple of bumps, or do you put it away for a short while, give it some thought, and then work on it again? I hope it is the latter choice for you. 

I've used an example many times about the story of The Little Engine That Could. We all know the story of that train engine who kept repeating "I think I can! I think I can!" until he was able to pull the big engine. I think I can might be a good mantra to use when things aren't going well. 

Like the turtle, writers also need to have a tough hide. They need to learn to let the rejections bounce off that hide, rather than pierce straight through to the heart. Learning to accept both criticism from other writers or readers or editors, along with full rejections from publishers, is not easy. The first thing we should do is to remember that the criticism is not a personal attack against YOU. Sadly, many writers take it that way. The criticism, or rejection, is about what you have written. Let's face it. Not every story, article, poem, or essay is going to be a masterpiece. Especially not with the first, or even second draft. There will be some fine parts and other areas that need work. 

When someone gives you the exact spots that bothered them, feel happy that you know where you have to do some revision. It's so much better than an overall criticism where you don't even know where to begin to revise. If you put your writing up for critique in a group, you'll benefit a great deal. When more than one person picks out the same area that needs work, believe it. Then do something about it. A simple rejection from an editor will not always be sent with a reason. I appreciate the ones that do give me an inkling of why the piece didn't work for them. 

Work on not taking criticism personally. Think of it as something to help you improve on your craft and become better at it. 

Make an attempt to develop Mr. Turtle's Try and Stop Me attitude. You'll accelerate your writing journey that way.

 

Do You Have Trouble Writing?

If writing was so easy, wouldn't everyone give it a try? Possibly. Once in awhile, an idea comes to us for a story and it almost seems to write itself. Our fingers are on the keyboard but the words flow from who-knows-where? That does happen but not on an everyday basis.

Most of the time, we do struggle with what we write. It might be only one paragraph that gives trouble or one verse of a poem, but we want to get it right. One poor section can taint the entire piece.

How many times can you rewrite one paragraph? Until it feels right to you! Whether that's twice or twenty, redo it until you are comfortable with it. Is this why some novelists say their book took 4 years (or more) to write? Maybe that's part of the reason.

We've discussed revising and re-editing many times so maybe it means there is something vital about doing so. Beginning writers all too often finish a first draft and call it complete. It's a rare first draft that is ready for submission. Seasoned writers know that rewriting is key to publishing.  Even writers who can claim many publications have trouble writing in one respect or another.

I know a woman who writes wonderful prose, but she struggles mightily with finding a title that sings, one that draws readers. Another writes wonderful essays but fails when she gets to the final paragraph or two. A good essay deserves, and needs, a good ending. Same with a fiction piece. An exciting story must stay exciting right to the final punctuation mark in the last paragraph. others have difficulty with opening hooks.

Trouble writing? We all experience it. Some of us have learned how to overcome the problems of various kinds. We work hard to end up with a finished piece of writing that is publishable and also satisfies us, the writer. Writing is hard but those who love it soldier on no matter how many problems they experience.

If you have trouble writing, remember that you're in good company. The vast majority of us are right there with you. Writers never stop learning. When one part of writing gives you problems, it's time to read about that part of our craft. Read and learn. 

  

Writers-Give Your Best

 

"....what you give comes back to you." That's the last part of today's poster quote. Ponder on that for a bit. Then ask yourself some questions. 

A.  Do I write more than one draft? 

B.  Do I check facts and figures carefully, or make a good guess?

C.  When I edit and revise, do I replace many passive verbs with active ones?

D.  Do I put emotions into my writing, or skim the surface?

E.  Do I hurry through a writing project?

F.  Do I submit only my best work to an editor? 

G.  Do I use sensory details to help the reader experience more?

If you are 'giving your all, then you should have answered Yes to all but Letter E. That should be a resounding NO. Hurrying through any writing project is a recipe for disaster. An editor is going to pick your submission apart if you dash off a story and send it. The same is you answered No to any of the other questions above. 

Do your best. Has anyone ever said that to you? We shouldn't do our best on only a few writing projects. Instead, it should be the norm for every one of your writing projects. Put your heart and soul into what you write, and success will come more easily. Will this mean you'll have an acceptance for every submission? Probably not, but the odds that you do will certainly go up. 

A Fresh Start for Writers

 

Every writer has had times when a project runs into a brick wall. You're going along quite well, you think, then wham! You're stuck. How do I get this character out of this mess now? Or Why does this story seem to be going nowhere in a hurry? Or There's no heart in this essay, but I don't know how to fix it. Or This poem started out great and came to a big crash in the last verses. 

We are writers, not magicians. We encounter problems, and often, we want to walk away rather than figure out what to do to fix the problem. 

Our poster quote says "Don't start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a fresh start. Each day is a new beginning. Every morning we wake up is the first day of the rest of our life." It seems to fit problems writers have as mentioned above. 

This is one reason why so many books on the craft of writing tell us to put a project away when we run into trouble with what we're writing. We get so involved with what we're writing that we often don't see how to fix a problem area. Walk away and start over again tomorrow, or even days later. I can almost guarantee that you'll see what you'd already written in a new light. You might see a way out, or you could realize that you can find a new way to accomplish what had become so difficult only hours or days earlier. 

Sometimes, we have problems with what we're writing because we're tired or have something important on our mind. We're not giving the writing our full attention. When that happens, walk away, then go back in a day or two or three. 

Every day allows us to start over again rather than work with the broken pieces of yesterday. We can scrap yesterday's work, or we can try to change it, fix it, or resurrect it. I'd vote for the latter three things rather than get so disgusted you tear up yesterday's work and throw the pieces to the four winds. It's a new day, so you can try a new way. 

First Drafts Are Only the Beginning

 

I once knew a newbie writer who dashed off a short story and was thrilled to think she'd finished it. She knew that she'd better look it over for errors before she sent it flying into cyberspace to an editor. She was giddy over how easy the writing had been. When the story was returned with a rejection note, she was devastated. What in the world was wrong? It was a good story, she told herself.

Maybe if Nellie Newbie had studied a few books about the craft of writing, she'd have learned that the first writing is the first draft, and it holds a key word. That's FIRST, which indicates that there should be more to follow. 

Our quote today puts it in pretty plain language. "I'm writing a first draft and reminding myself that I'm simply shovelling sand into a box so that later I can build castles." 

An architect doesn't draw a house plan, then start building. No, he/she starts with one plan, then adds things, takes away other things, then redraws the plan. Maybe several times before the final one is ready. 

Writers do the same. When we write the first draft, we're getting the main ideas down, kind of telling ourselves the story. It's like the base for a tower of building blocks. Each draft thereafter can be considered one more block in the tower you're building. 

You might be thinking--Whoa! Did she just say 'each' draft? Good grief! How many must there be? That depends. You can write 2, 3, or more. You write until you feel satisfied that you've covered all bases and are ready to show your work to an editor. 

Things to consider when writing drafts:

A. Write the first draft, then put it away for a couple days, even longer. It will look different to you when you read it after letting it sit. You'll see things you didn't when you read it over immediately after writing it. 

B.  Give thought to structure. Are you happy with it, or do you perhaps see some places you'd like to change in the next draft?

C.  What about the mechanics? Are there spelling errors, punctuation changes needed? Active verbs needed to replace those nasty little passive ones? Is the dialogue clear? Are you showing every place you can rather than telling? Have you added enough sensory details to bring your readers into your story?

D.  What about emotion? Is there enough to speak to your readers? 

E.  What can be cut to make the story stronger? Or what might you add to do the same?

F.  Finally, read it aloud. You'll catch many small things that you don't see when you read silently. 

Good writers create more than one draft. How many is up to the writer. After each one, be sure to put it away for a few days; bring it back and see if it meets all your requirements, and if it pleases you? If it does, then you're ready to submit.

Never Too Old To Start Writing

 

I've heard too many people say they've always wanted to give writing a try, but it's too late now. I totally disagree. I started writing in my fifties, even though the desire to write had been with me for many, many years. Sadly, I let LIFE get in the way. I put my DESIRE to write on the back burner while I pursued other parts of my life--college, teaching, marriage, raising children, and more. If I could do it all over again, I would MAKE time to pursue writing. 

A number of years ago, I interviewed several people who had been late to this game, just like me. They each had a story to tell, but the best part was that they each DID pursue learning to become a writer. It doesn't matter WHAT you would like to write--family stories, a memoir, a novel, short stories, personal essays, poetry--it's the desire to write that you can develop no matter what your AGE. The article is posted below. See if any of the stories of these older writers coincides with yours.

Is It Too Late?

"I'd love to write, but I'm too old now." Have you thought or said something like that aloud? Is it too late once you've passed through your forties? Can you learn a new craft later in life? Come along with me and meet several writers who took the first step when well into, or past, middle age.

Tragedy turned Kathe Campbell into a writer at the age of sixty-two. A wretched accident at her Montana ranch resulted in the loss of her right arm. Still in shock and feeling useless, Kathe held many a pity party. No one showed up but the Guest of Honor. Her son built a computer and urged her to practice using the keyboard with her left hand. Once a120 words a minute typist, she played with the keyboard a little, finding it difficult but challenging. Kathe says "If any old broad ever needed confidence during this settling and coping time of life, I did. I discovered several writing e-zines on the internet and unabashedly submitted the wrenching story of my loss at the age of 62. The entire effort served as mental and physical therapy, jolting me right back into allowing my thoughts to spill over pages once again." Only a few years earlier Kathe had written her first story detailing a journey through her mother's Alzheimer's Disease. Cosmopolitan magazine published it. She never wrote another until after her accident. Now, at seventy-two, she turns out story upon story bringing folksy humor and touching warmth to readers at several website e-zines. Chicken Soup For The Grandparent's Soul recently published one of Kathe's true-life tales.

Did Kathe Campbell start a writing career too late in life? She waited until she harbored a lifetime of experiences to draw from, until the goal of succeeding seemed less important than the fact that she enjoyed writing with every fiber of her being. In her own words, "Writing is such a lot of fun." Her accident became the catalyst for a part-time career she'd never considered in her younger years.

Hollywood portrays young men writing the great American novel in garrets, outdoor cafes, or even at a kitchen table. They sweat, they agonize, they labor long into the night until that magical first sale turns them into Pulitzer Prize winners in a flash. Oh, that it might be that easy. Have you ever seen a film that portrays someone over the age of forty-five writing their first story? They don’t fit the stereotype Hollywood has invented, do they? 

More than a few writers launch freelance careers in mid-life and beyond. Madge Walls, author of Hawaii Real Estate Exam Book, tried to write in her thirties but found the distractions of young children overwhelming. She shelved the writing itself but attended every workshop on the subject of writing that came to Maui where she lived. "I knew I would write seriously someday and wanted to absorb all I could while waiting to get the little distractions grown up" Madge says. She feels the older you are the more wisdom and experience you have accumulated. At sixty-one, she believes her writing to be much richer now than it might have been years earlier. Madge is currently working on a historical fiction novel and has completed another novel based on her experiences selling real estate in Hawaii 

A woman in her sixties, who prefers to remain anonymous, entered the writing world partly because of being a copious letter writer all her life. Letters filled with mini-stories were a medium of self-expression which, over the years, evolved into writing short stories and novels. She enrolled in a correspondence course to learn the basics, writing many articles and stories that never reached publication. Rather than give up, she signed up for several writing courses found on the internet. Many were excellent but left her searching for more. She needed feedback and interaction, which these courses did not offer. She wrote five adult novels, one for teens and two for middle-grade children. An online critique group became an eye-opener, teaching her more than all the previous period. Nearing seventy, she is an active person who still works to support herself but also writes four hours each day. Her positive attitude and consistent hard work aid this writer on her journey to publication.

Dick Dunlap creates stories that bring both laughter and an occasional tear to the reader. Dick says that anything he wrote in high school was overlooked because of poor spelling and bad handwriting. In spite of that, he won second prize in a Woman's Club essay contest in his teen years. It was the first time he received recognition for his writing, and the excitement was never forgotten. Dick avoided writing through the majority of his life, being ashamed of its appearance. When over sixty, he submitted a poem to a newspaper. A Writer's Guild member contacted him, and he took a big step by attending meetings. Soon, he bought a word processor and signed up for a writing course for Seniors. He created a fictitious family called "The Nevers", writing story upon story about the folks who make up this bumbling family. Dick says, "I like what I write. I laugh, I get a tear in my eye, I live my plots."

"Will the Boots and Saddles Club please come to order?" That was the first line of a novel Molly Samuels penned at the age of 8. Molly says, "That was so horrible, I put my writing skills to work elsewhere for the next forty-four years. I never lost that desire to write a book, even though it was one of those "someday" dreams. I'm fifty-eight now and have been seriously focused on writing for only four years." At fifty-two Molly came to a crossroads in her career. She realized that everything she enjoyed throughout her career related to writing, and a new door opened for her. She spends her free time turning out chapter upon chapter of a historical novel that has captured the interest of her online critique group.

Molly states her thoughts on writers who jump into the writing game at a later stage of life. "I really think we need to age a bit to get experiences, things to fill those wrinkles in our brain for our sub-consciences to ferret out, for our writing to glow. I don't think the first fifty-two years of my life were wasted, even though I never wrote anything more scintillating than a survey analysis."

A teacher's criticism douses the spark of creativity in many cases. Shirley Letcher had an interest in writing all through her high school years. A creative writing teacher criticized her work mercilessly, adding a massive dose of sarcasm. Shirley did not write again for more than twenty years when she returned to college to pursue a master's degree. Professors complimented her on weekly essays she submitted. It wasn't long before she was publishing articles and getting paid. She writes in her free time and finds it exhilarating.

Leela Devi Panikar operated a lucrative pub/restaurant business in Hong Kong. At the age of sixty-six, her life moved in a different direction. She found it necessary to bring her elderly wheelchair-bound mother to live with her. Leela's care-taking duties are time-consuming, but she is well aware that she needs something else in her life, too. In her precious spare time, she works on a novel set in Hong Kong.

I have a personal interest in the topic at hand. A desire to write occupied the recesses of my mind all through my growing-up years, college, career, and raising children. Too busy now I told myself, until, at the age of fifty-three, I landed in a small town that did not accept new people very readily. I was lonely and homesick for all we left behind when my husband made a job change. I plunged in head-first by enrolling in a correspondence course that promised to teach me how to write for children. I was hooked after Lesson One, and I've never looked back in the fourteen years since.

Middle-aged and older people who have never written before can learn the craft. Bumps and bruises await along the road to a writing career, but if desire is strong, and you practice patience and perseverance, satisfaction and success lie within reach. Draw from your wealth of experience to write that first story soon.

By Nancy Julien Kopp (C) 2006

Book Review: The Spy Coast

 

Acclaimed author, Tess Gerritsen, has written another suspense thriller that kept me turning pages when I should have been doing other tasks. 

Maggie Bird is a retired CIA agent, living in a small seaside town in Maine. Four of her best friends, also agents who are retired live there, as well. In fact, they were the ones who suggested she make the move to a more quiet life. Maggie bought a small farm and is perfectly content raising chickens, being a good neighbor to an old man and his teen-aged granddaughter, and sharing dinner and drinks with her longtime friends, who call themselves The Martini Club. 

A young CIA agent is an unexpected visitor, asking Maggie to help her locate an agent she'd worked with years earlier, who has disappeared. Maggie wants no part of it and sends the agent away. Only to find her body dumped on the driveway a short time later. Now, Maggie knows her own life is in danger, and that she must face the difficult times from many years earlier. 

She shares her fears with the other four retired agents, who may be slowing down physically but are still mentally alert. They put their heads together in an attempt to sort out Maggie's problem

The town's acting police chief, Jo Thibodeau, is trying to solve the murder but getting little to no information from Maggie or the others in The Martini Club, despite her continued questioning of The Martini Club.

Maggie is forced to revisit her covert career as she hunts for answers. Once again, she must visit Bangkok, Istanbul, London and Malta, facing the ghosts of her past and searching for the truth of what occurred so many years before. 

It's easy to keep track of the story, despite the chapters jumping around with a few of the characters and flashbacks because of the clear, concise writing. Well worth a read. Find it at your favorite bookseller or library. Warning: the reserve list at most libraries will be lengthy. 

Putting Yourself into Your Writing

 Our quote and painting for today really speaks to me. We often think of artists as painters, but all who create something, whether with paints, charcoal, pens and pencils, typewriters, computer keyboards, clay, or marble qualify as artists. Some quilts are works of art. Embroidery, crocheting, tatting--all are art forms.

But we writers should do exactly as Henry Ward Beecher, who was a clergyman and social reformer in the 19th century, said. We must look into our own soul and put ourselves into the words we write. That's a fine goal to set for yourself. If you can write doing those two things, you'll most likely be successful.

Hold back on putting our soul and self into our writing, and the writing will reflect that. It could turn out dull, wooden, uninteresting. As writers, we cannot hold back, we should put all we have into our writing. New writers are sometimes fearful of doing this. After all, you're baring your soul to the world through what you write. You might be putting yourself up for criticism. It's a hurdle to get over, but once you do, your writing will be much improved. 

One example is in memoir writing. Unless you look into your own soul and put something of yourself into your memoir, it will be nothing but a report. Dull, wooden, uninteresting. You'll need to open the gates and let yourself shine through what you write. 

The quote and painting today reminded me of a poem I wrote some years ago. It won third place in a theme contest. The theme was: Pen life as art. I've posted it below.

Artists All

Painting with oils,

watercolors brushed across paper,

clay molded by loving hands, 

marble chiseled to exquisite form.

Artists ply their trade

by the golden light of day,

by the velvet depths of night

passionately, joyously, ardently.

One more artist joins the ranks.

The writer brushes words over paper,

molds a story bit by glittering bit,

chisels a novel to survive the ages.

Life stories are gathered 

from country roads to city streets,

written from the depths of a heart

bursting with intensity and rapture.

Artists all, masters of creation,

be they painters, sculptors or writers,

leaving footprints on canvas, marble and paper--

heartfelt tributes embraced by mankind.

(C) 2007

Emotion and Writing

 Today's quote is: Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. Such a simple sentence. Yet, it gives us good advice. 

Two important things for writers to consider.

A. Write with emotion:  The term 'breathings of your heart' equates to writing with emotion. Robert Frost once said...'No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.' If we don't write with emotion, coming from the heart, our readers are not going to feel it. It starts with us, the writer. 

B. Write so that you make your readers feel some emotion: Those whose writing comes across as wooden or impassable will never have much connection with their readers. The ones who write with those 'breathings of the heart' will capture readers' attention.

It's not always easy to transfer what you are feeling into your writing. Sometimes we have a tendency to hold back, to keep our own feelings under wraps. It's important that you allow your inner feelings to come through in your writing. 

One way is to show your story. If all you do is tell the story, you're going to make your reader feel like they are reading a report. If you show it, they are more likely to immerse themselves into the story and will feel the emotion more easily. 

There are numerous articles online that will help you learn to write with emotion. Use your favorite search engine to find them. Reading about writing is one of the most important parts of being a writer. 

Meanwhile, share those 'breathings of your heart' through the words you write, whether they are stories, essays, or poems.  

Making Time to Write

 

Time! We are given 24 hours in a day, and it's ours to do what we will with it. Even if we sleep 8 hours, that leaves us a full 16 hours for activities. Work, play, frittering it away at times. 

Professional writers often set a number of hours per day to devote to their craft. Hobbyist writers and those aiming to be on the bestseller list someday approach time to write in different ways.

Some are rigid in setting a certain number of hours per week that they devote to writing, while others fit in time to write wherever and whenever they can. Some do it when the mood strikes. Those moods don't always strike at convenient times, however. 

Some set aside a prescribed amount of time per day to write. Maybe it's two hours, or one hour, or even half an hour. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it?

Consider the activities that fill your day. Some writers work at other full-time jobs, are raising young children, are active in community activities, responsible for cleaning, cooking, and grocery shopping, social activities and more. That doesn't leave a great deal of time to write, and when a writer does devote an hour or so to writing, they might be so tired that it's not a productive effort.

I've heard writers say that they want to devote more time to writing, but they cannot seem to do it. One way is to take a good look at your life and see what things you can cut back on to give yourself some writing time. You might have to say no to a social event. In that case, you'll need to weigh which is more important to you. 

There are also some who use 'no time' as an excuse because they have a fear of not being able to produce as they would like to. It happens. It's human. 

If you're truly passionate about finding time to write, go to bed an hour later or get up an hour earlier. I'd vote for the latter, as you'll be more refreshed than at the end of a long day. 

You can even find snippets of time to write if you keep a small notebook and pen with you. Waiting in a doctor's office feels like wasted time, so why not use it to jot down story ideas, or the first lines of a poem? Those who take a commuter train or bus to work could make use of that time, as well. 

It all comes down to the determination you have, how passionate you are about wanting to write. If you truly do want to write, you can make time to pursue that drive you have. If you have hours to spend writing, that's wonderful, but even if you find bits and pieces of time, you'll benefit in the end. 

Write Christmas Stories in July?

 Christmas in July? Yes, you'd better write and submit your Christmas stories now if you hope to have one published in the Christmas issue of any magazine or ezine. These publications work on issues long ahead of time, and you, the writer, need to prepare for that.

Halloween stories submitted in September aren't going to make it. Valentine stories sent in January haven't got a chance. Nor do patriotic Independence Day tales shipped off to a publisher in June.

The plan here is to think ahead. Far ahead. How do you get into the right mood to write a Christmas story during a summer heat wave? You might try playing some Christmas music or look through family photos of your gathering last year. Read a few Christmas stories which might inspire you to write one of your own. You can also write the story during the holiday, then save to submit a few months later. 

Publications receive many, many stories about Christmas and Halloween. If you want to make the odds more in your favor, write stories about the other holidays and commemorative days. A few of them are:

Memorial Day

Independence Day (4th of July)

Labor Day

Armistice Day (now Veteran's Day)

Lincoln's Birthday

Washington's Birthday

D-Day

Pearl Harbor Day

Martin Luther King Day

Easter

Passover

Kwanza

Hanukkah

Thanksgiving

You can probably think of a few more. Children's magazines especially like stories revolving around a patriotic day or holiday. 

There's no doubt that it's easier to write a Christmas story when decorations are everywhere, snowflakes are swirling, and the scent of Christmas baking drifts through your house. But it can be done. I've had a children's Christmas story jumping around in my mind for a very long time. I know that I'd better get that first draft written very soon, despite the weather forecast of 90's this week. 

I mentioned holiday stories for children, but adult publications use them, too. I had one in The War Cry, the Salvation Army magazine, a few years ago. It was a story I'd written long before it was published. I submitted it in high summer. There are publications that like to receive memoir stories, practical advice for a particular holiday, stories that revolve around holiday foods and more. Once again, it's up to you to find a market for your holiday stories. Just remember to plan ahead. 

Adjectives--Use But Don't Abuse

 

Mark Twain

 

“When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.”  Mark Twain

Author, Mark Twain, lived and wrote in the mid-nineteenth century. Even so, his advice to writers is still pertinent in our own twenty-first century. The quote above is part of a letter he wrote to a young writer. What is above is important, but take a look at more of what he wrote:

“I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English—it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don’t let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean utterly, but kill most of them—then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.”

We would be wise to pay attention to this advice. One of the marks of a newbie writer is that he/she tends to use a plethora of adjectives. This kind of writing reminds me of a woman who wears a dress with too many ruffles, then adds several necklaces, bracelets and over-sized earrings. Another woman who enters a ballroom in a dress with simple lines and only a bit of jewelry will stand out. Elegance in simplicity. That is the way our sentences should read, as well.

I was once part of an online writing community which was not a critique group but one that posted writing of many members. A young woman joined and posted stories on a regular basis. Most were memoir pieces with the basic story usually interesting with take-away value. But--and this is a huge 'but'--she gathered adjectives like daisies in a field and sprinkled them throughout her narrative. Where one adjective might enhance, she tossed in three or even four. It got to the point that I had trouble reading her work as it became almost nauseating to read the many flowery adjectives she used. I know the poor girl felt she was adding a great deal to the story by doing this but I doubt that she ever had anything published by an editor. 

Adjectives like very and really add nothing much more than what you were trying to say in the first place. These adjectives are also listed under the category of 'unnecessary words'. Some writers feel that these words emphasize what they are saying but I think they can be distracting.  It's also distracting to find a noun with three adjectives floating before it. One will do nicely. Besides that, every noun does not require an adjective. Use them too often and you weaken your piece. Mr. Twain said it and I concur.  

I have to admit that I have used adjectives a bit carelessly at times in my own writing. It's something that critiquers pointed out to me in my early days of writing. I have tried to eliminate those unneeded words like very and really and seldom use multiple adjectives for one noun. Never, ever, more than two. I know that when I follow the advice Mr. Twain left us, my writing is stronger and more readable. 

        Take a favorite piece of writing from your files and go through it highlighting the adjectives. Then,          take a look and see if you've used far too many or the right amount. Rewrite the piece being                    careful to not overuse adjectives. Which version is stronger? You decide. 

Writing About Your Travels

 

Krueger National Park in South Africa

Traveling seems to be a national pastime. Over the 4th of July holiday, millions in the USA took to the roads, skies, and rails. Europeans are much the same with August being the big vacation/travel time. 

We appreciate the travel articles that give all kinds of info about sights to see, places to eat, hotels, weather and more. We need that kind of information to plan and get the most out of our trips. Travel writers and journalists spend money and time checking on these needed facts for travelers. 

But all who travel can be travel writers, too. Traveler's tales are more personal, have the human touch. I enjoy seeing famous sights when we are on tours or traveling on our own, but I also like to write about the people we have met on our travels, the personal incidents, and the emotions that I have when visiting another town, state, or country. 

The photos with today's post were taken when we went to South Africa to visit friends who live there. The park is known around the world, and we enjoyed our time there, but what I wrote about in my travel journal was about people and how I felt while I was touring the park with my husband and friends.

On a three-week driving trip with friends across the southern half of Germany, what I wrote about was a small hotel in a village, the woman who ran the hotel, nearby church bells that touched my heart and more. I wasn't trying to sell the hotel to other travelers but to let people know how this place affected me.

Visiting Peggy's Cove in Nova Scotia was delightful but also heart-rending because of a tragic airline crash in the sea off its coast. I wrote about how seeing the place and the memorial affected me.

On a trip to France, I wrote about a small WWII American Cemetery where we spent perhaps an hour. It affected me so deeply that I had to write about the experience and the people in our tour group. Above an altar, there was a large mosaic tile mural of an angel holding a dead soldier that sent waves of sadness through me. 

I wrote on a trip to Door County, WI, where the scenery is wonderful, but so are the people who live and work in the six villages that make up the area. Picking out one or two and writing about them brings back sweet memories. 

Writing about the humorous times, the incidents, the horrific bumbles, the people you encounter and how you've been personally touched is the kind of travel writing we can all do. You needn't write for publication, although you can. Write to keep the memories, to share with your friends and family. 

Keeping a travel journey is easy, and it is a wonderful way to savor your memories after you are home. Rereading your journals helps you enjoy a trip all over again. Photos are great, but the stories of what happened on your trip are special, as well. Use your travel journals to remind you of the details and stories you hope to write once home. One thing I learned is to write something in that travel journal at the end of each day. Skip a day or two, and it might be difficult to bring back the details and how what you saw affected you.

If you do want to share your travel stories, there are places where you might submit them. The large travel magazines use articles mostly from professionals, but there are other smaller zines and magazines that use the tales from everyday travelers, too. Use your favorite search engine to find them.

Chicken Soup for the Soul--On or Off?

 

Recently, the news that Chicken Soup for the Soul books has filed bankruptcy sent shivers up and down the spines of the many contributors to this popular anthology. Many would want to send new stories for the latest books. Now what? 

Like all things, there is more to a story than its headline. Redbox is the parent company of Chicken Soup for the Soul. They distribute the movies in the separate kiosks in many stores. They have filed bankruptcy.

I was alarmed when I read about the bankruptcy filing, the not paying employees and more, but I did a bit of research and learned that the book end of the company is alright. They still plan on 10-12 new books annually. Read the article from Publisher's Weekly at https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/publisher-news/article/95433-chicken-soup-for-the-soul-publishing-untouched-by-namesake-bankruptcy.html

Those who have stories submitted for books in the works can breathe a sigh of relief. And those who hope to send stories for upcoming books can also move ahead. 

When a headline bursts with bad news, we often panic. Take time and do some research to find out the whole story. If you want to learn more, use your favorite search engine to find articles regarding the topic. Media people like to make people sit up and take notice with the headlines they print. Check out the full story to see what is really happening. 

Tips for Writing Your Family Stories

 

My regular readers know that one of my pet projects is encouraging people to write their family stories. Writers and non-writers alike. You don't need to be a professional writer to record your family history through stories of incidents and events. Anyone can do it. 

There are websites to help. Use any search engine and enter 'how to write family stories', and you'll be amazed at the number of helpful articles that pop up. 

There is a difference between family stories and family history. The latter is made up of facts and figures...names and dates of marriages, births, deaths, places lived. Family stories are more personal letting future generations know more about the personalities of family members as well as significant things that happened within the family. Both good events and sad or bad. It's all part of your family history. You don't want to sugarcoat your family members in every story. Tell it like it is. Or was! You can do this without being nasty or cruel. 

My mother often mentioned an uncle of hers who she said was 'the meanest man on the earth'. When he died, he left money to all his nieces and nephews, so the man had a good side, as well. Many of our relatives have more than one side. Try to find the good side when you can.

A few tips when writing family stories: 

A. Use sensory details to make the individuals seem rea--sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.

B. Try to show the place where the story happens. City, farm, ranch, island, ocean? 

C. Do more than tell the story. Show us what happened. That's where the sense of place and sensory details come in.

D. Use active verbs instead of relying on passive ones like is, was, were, are.

E. Use some adjectives to help with description, but keep it to one, two at the most. Otherwise, it sounds too saccharin.

F. Dialogue helps bring the story alive. You probably can't remember dialogue word for word, but you will remember the gist of what was said. It's alright to create dialogue as long as the meaning is the same as what was said.

G. Humor is always welcome in any story. There are many humorous things that happen in our families. They beg to be repeated.

H. Don't shy away from sad stories. They should be told. They are part of what makes people who they are. The same with tragic events in a family. Tell them with kindness.

I. It's not necessary to write the stories chronologically. Write them as they come to you. 

J. Describe the characters in your stories. What relation were they to you? Physical attributes. The kind of person he/she was. Weave all this into your individual story. 

Keep a file of the stories you write. Both on your computer and hard copies saved in a large 3-ring binder. Computers fail us at times, so those hard copies are important. 

Many people say they want to write their family stories. They think about it, they talk about it, but that's as far as it goes. Start with one story, save it, then go on to the next. You don't have to keep at it day by day. Write when the mood moves you, but do try to do it with some regularity. The longer you are away from the project, the easier it is to stay away. Maybe aim for one a week. 

If you do write your family stories, you'll have a certain sense of satisfaction. Our family memories are treasures, so why not share them with other family members and leave them for future family members. 

Create a Sense of Place When You Write

 

When we write fiction or memoir, a sense of place should hold a significant spot. Many How-To books on writing offer special exercises on this important part of a story or a memoir, or even an essay. I have posted two photos today that are totally different places. Anyone writing about either one would have plenty to work with.

At one of my online conferences, one of the workshop presenters spoke for nearly an hour on a sense of place, and then she had us do a ten-minute exercise highlighting same. She was the editor of a travel website, so who would put a priority on a sense of place more than someone in her position? Her presentation and exercise left an impression on me. 

I recently subbed a memory piece to my online writing group. When the critiques came back, I noticed one glaring thing. A sense of place was there but not strong enough. Part of that error was that I knew the place so well that I transported myself there as I wrote but I didn't bring my reader into the place with me. They are not mind-readers so it's up to me, the writer, to give them a clear picture of where the story happened. This is probably the most important point in today's post.

Some Points About a Sense of Place:

A. It draws the reader into the story, takes them to another world than the one they are in.

B. It helps let readers know how characters feel about where they are. It's not only a description of where the story happens.

C. The writer should use specifics to give a sense of place. Don't just say there were animals. Name them. Let the reader see the elephants, the zebras and giraffes in the game reserve. 

D. Dialogue specific to the place helps give that sense of place. Consider the Scottish brogue or the idioms used by the mountain folk in Virginia. 

My husband and I visited Peggy's Cove in Nova Scotia several years ago. The place is so picturesque and has a sad history, as well. I was so taken with it that I wrote a personal essay about our visit. The good part about writing the essay is that it gave me something to also use in a fiction piece. If I had a character who visited Peggy's Cove, I know that I could give my readers a real sense of place. 

When you write a short story or a novel, what happens and to whom is important, but where it takes place ranks high on the must-include list. Give some thought to a sense of place when you write. 

As an exercise, write a paragraph or two using each of the photos included here. Use sensory details to help bring your reader into what you have written.

 

Writers Can Use 'Breathings of the Heart'

 Another post highlighting writing from your heart. It is so worthwhile to do so.

The quote above by William Wordsworth, poet, says a great deal in a mere nine words. Poets don't have the luxury of the many words of the prose writer. They must say a lot in far fewer words. Wordsworth (don't you love that name for a writer?) lived from the late eighteenth century to the middle of the nineteenth. His writing was done with paper and pen, not the way we write today. 

I find something soothing about writing that way. The Morning Pages exercise can be done with paper and pen while having your first cup of coffee of the day. If you haven't tried this exercise, check it out and give it a whirl.

Today, however, let's talk about Wordsworth's advice. The writing that comes from our hearts is going to appeal to readers far more than the staid, factual writing that some writers produce. If the words come from your heart, they are going to have emotion that filters from writer to reader. There will be passion and truth. 

Writing that comes from your heart can also act as a step in healing for a writer. So many who have survived a tragedy of some kind write about it. They write to help others but also as part of the healing process. Some feel they should protect their own privacy and never write about traumas in their life. Look at the many, though, who have done so. Memoir after memoir of people who have lived through poverty, abuse, serious accidents and more line the bookshelves in our bookshops and libraries. These people have shared their stories and I think they are the ones who heal better and faster. The willingness to share their difficult stories is to be commended as they help others who might relate to same. 

Those breathings of your heart might produce sorrow or joy in readers. When you read a book that you love from first to last page, you've usually experienced emotions throughout. The characters have made you laugh, cry, be angry and more. The authors who can make your emotions surface are the ones who write with heart. 

Think about the books or short stories, memoir pieces or any other creative nonfiction you have written. Step back and look objectively. Did you write from your heart? Did the emotion come through? If not, can you revise it and put your heart into it this time. 

There is one hurdle to get over. Some writers have difficult time releasing all that is in their heart. It's too private for some to be able to share. Try doing it a little at a time. Open the gate and see what happens when you do. Consider how it affects your final product. Like all things, take it a step at a time. The more you can write from your heart, the easier it will become. 

Finally, I cannot finish today's post without telling you how much I love the phrase breathings of your heart. Wordsworth could have said what's in your heart but his poet's heart served him well in the choice of words he made. 

Listen To Your Heart

 

What came first the chicken or the egg? Old, old question which came to mind when I read in a reference book for writers that one should 'write with your heart and edit with your head.' Which is more important?

It makes perfect sense that we should use our hearts when we write. If we don't, there is no emotion, no passion. There is little to touch a reader's heart. When we write without heart, we are reporting a series of events. But when it comes from deep within, we bring the reader into the moment and allow them to feel what we felt. We give the reader something to remember.

Write from the heart. It sounds so easy, but it can be difficult if we can't open our hearts enough to write with passion, no matter the subject. To write this way means we must bare our soul. Some writers might want to bare a little but not all. Get a reader partway there and then cut them off, and you won't get accolades. Give them the whole thing, and they'll be yours forever.

Let's assume you have written an emotion-filled personal essay. You let it all out, allowed your deepest feelings to surface in the words you tapped out on your keyboard. This is where the head part enters the picture. After you allow the piece to simmer on its own a few days, you need to go back and do some editing. This time, you need to listen to your head, not your heart. You might have a phrase that is pure poetry but doesn't belong in the essay. It hurts to strike it out, but if your head tells you it doesn't fit with the rest, axe it.

Use your head and look at the essay or story with the eyes of a reader, not a writer. Ask yourself what the reader is going to think. Then revise, cut, add--whatever will make your work better.

Which one is more important? I think they get equal billing. Trust your heart when writing, but use your head when you edit.

Remembering My Dad

 

My Dad--1942

My dad was a complicated man. Loving and kind one minute and in a rage the next. He'd been spoiled as a child and still wanted things his way as an adult. 

There were things he did for me in my growing-up years that I only appreciated as an adult. His lectures for one thing. The following essay highlighting those lessons has been published a couple times. It seemed appropriate for this Father's Day weekend. 

Driving With Dad

During my growing-up years, my dad drove a 1936 Plymouth, moved on to a 40’s model Buick and then a 50’s era Chrysler that was his pride and joy. Every one of those vehicles was a used car, but Dad burst with pride over each one. He kept them washed and waxed, made sure the engine hummed, and brushed and vacuumed the upholstered seats regularly.

     

I learned many life lessons during conversations in those cars, usually when Dad and I drove somewhere without my mother and brothers. Both of us sitting in the front seat of the car, we bumped along the brick street in front of our apartment building, our words quaking as we passed over each new brick the tires hit. Finally, we’d come to a paved street, and our voices resounded normally again. An innocent remark from me as we rode along brought forth long orations from Dad on more than one occasion. 

My dad was a short, skinny guy, but his inner strength and street smarts created a powerful person. He steered with one hand and gestured to me with the other, citing one example after another to prove a point.

     

In my childhood years, I considered his words as nothing but lectures. Never content to say a little about a subject, he’d begin with the important part of the lesson and continue on and on until I effectively tuned him out. My own silent rebellion. I must have had a mental file folder in which I saved those little lectures, for bits and pieces float through my mind even now, many decades later. They’ve helped to make me the strong person I am today.

     

Born in 1916, Dad grew up in the Fabulous Twenties and the Depression years. He lost his father at the age of fourteen in 1930 and dropped out of high school to search for work. He supported his mother and himself with one scrounged-up job after another, finally settling in permanently at International Harvester Co. when he turned eighteen. They hired him as a truck driver, and Dad moved on through the ranks of the parts department in a distribution center and finally to the General Office in downtown Chicago where he worked with men who, unlike himself, held college degrees. He supervised a department of men and women until his retirement, and never was a man more loyal to an employer than he.

As an adult, my dad’s words revisited me when I attended college, taught school, married, and became a mother. One of the things we often talked about in those old cars was loyalty. “Loyalty,” Dad told me, “will reap benefits beyond your wildest dreams.”  He repeatedly instructed me and my brothers to be loyal to our family, to our employer, and to our friends. Mixed within the admonition to show loyalty was respect and integrity as well as fidelity, subheadings for his favorite topic.

     

As a child and especially in my teen years, I resented Dad’s lectures and did my best to ignore them. In my young adult years, Dad often grasped an opportunity to repeat those lectures. The same stories, the same words, the same lesson, and I’d think ‘oh no, not again.’ How many times could I listen to what International Harvester Co. did for him? That his loyalty to them was returned a thousand-fold over the years. And didn’t I already know that his loyalty to his best friend resulted in a lifelong friendship?

     

Dad died over twenty-five years ago, but the lessons he taught through words and example live on. The words I naively thought I had tuned out so long ago come back to me at the strangest moments. When I see examples of others’ loyalty, Dad’s words drift through my mind, and I wish I might thank him now for what he taught me all those years. I tried to be loyal to my employer, my family, and my friends exactly as he’d said while we drove all around Chicago in his treasured cars. And he was so right. I’ve reaped the benefits in the form of good working relationships, a wonderful family life, and the joy of many warm friendships.

     

He didn’t have a college degree, but he knew the values to instill in his children and he worked hard to ensure we learned the meaning of loyalty. The little lectures in the car and sometimes at the dining room table were re-enforced by the way he led his own life. I listened and observed, quite often subconsciously, and applied what I learned throughout my own life. Thanks a million, Dad.