Family Stories, Biographies, and Memoirs

 

Both readers and writers sometimes get confused about the difference between family stories,  biographies, autobiographies, and memoirs. They're all about peoples' lives, aren't they? Yes, but there are also distinct differences in the four. In addition, they are all nonfiction. 

FAMILY STORIES:  These are pieces of family history. Each individual story tells about a person and/or event. You might be writing about your grandfather who came to America on a ship in 1925. Or about your grandmother who had the biggest vegetable garden in the county. Or maybe your Aunt Nellie whose wedding was ruined by a tornado. Or your great-aunt Olivia who did animal impersonations. Or about Uncle Henry who suffered from depression. These stories will give younger and future family members a picture of their extended family or ancestors. They are usually written for the family to read, not for publication. Although, the person writing the family stories can assemble them into a book. They need not be chronological. Assemble them any way you want to. Occasionally, a family story can be submitted to a magazine or anthology, but that is not the number one aim.

BIOGRAPHY:  It's a look at a person's life from birth to the present or when death occurred. Another person writes the life story after interviews and research. Biographies are usually about a historical figure or a celebrity--a known name. We often read biographies of a person we've admired and would like to know more about his/her life. Authors of biographies want publication

AUTOBIOGRAPHY:  This kind of book is basically the same as a biography, but it is written by a person about his/her own life. To me, it feels more personal, and the reader is able to see the writer's own thoughts and feelings about the events in that person's life from birth to the present. Again, the author hopes for publication.

MEMOIR:  Memoir can be divided into two categories--long and short. The long, of course, is a full book while the short can be a 1000 word piece, or even shorter. Memoirs are narrower in scope than a biography. Instead of relating the story of a life in chronological order, it focuses on a situation, a problem, or a relationship. It is limited to a phase or time period and is based on feelings and memories. The writer relates the experience but also what they learned. Memoir books appear to be quite popular today. For some reason, readers enjoy being privy to the life of another person, to see what obstacles they faced and how they did so. Short memoir pieces work well for anthologies like Chicken Soup for the Soul or for contests. Those who write memoirs are striving for publication. 

Becoming a Better Writer

 

"We are all apprentices in a craft where no one becomes a master."  This quote by Ernest Hemingway speaks to me as a writer. We strive for perfection, but will we ever reach that stage in our writing life? I'm guessing not, but can we come close? I think we can. 

 The five areas of writing are prewriting, drafting, revising, editing, and publishing. The prewriting may be one of the most important. It's where we find an idea, gather information or do a bit of research, and a lot of quiet thinking. Next comes putting pen to paper or fingers to keys to write the first draft. Keyword here is 'first'. Third step is revision which lets us change positions of some things, add or cut words, and more. Editing is a step that is often repeated rather than a onetime only. Last, we prepare for publishing by looking at markets, adding final bits necessary if it is a book, and submitting to a publisher. 

Those five stages are important, and the more we move through them, the better writer we will be. The apprentice carpenter may have trouble cutting boards so they are straight, but he/she will increase the ability to do so by repeating the task over and over. Writers are no different. The more we work on the five areas, or stages, named above, the better our finished piece will be. 

If you've written for a year, five years, twenty years, whatever it is, a look back at our earliest efforts might be revealing. Go through your files and read some of your beginning efforts. You might be amazed at the difference in your writing then as compared to what you do now. If we write on a continuous basis, we continue to grow, to write better than last year or the year before. That is, if....!

The big IF! We will write better as time goes on IF we take steps to continue learning our craft. Only yesterday, I watched a video on putting 'sound' into our poems and essays, or fiction. A minor detail, but it's one I'll try to be aware of as I write. I'm of a mind that we, as writers, never stop learning, if we make an effort to do so. Take a class. Watch a video, join a critique group, go to workshops and conferences. 

Don't be a sometime writer. Write on a regular basis. Wait weeks between writing something, and you might feel like you're starting at the beginning of the race again. Write a part of every day, even if it is only 15 minutes. Write in your journal. Write a letter. Do a writing exercise. Short stuff counts, too.

We don't achieve success in writing overnight. It takes time, patience, perseverance, determination and a love for the craft. Never stop learning and keep writing. 

 

The Golden Nugget in a Personal Essay

Life has a way of making us sit up and take notice. Things we experience often turn out to be good lessons. If we want to share what happened and what we learned, the perfect venue is the personal essay. 

The personal essay concerns something that happened to you. It might be highlighting most any kind of experience--humorous. tragic, interesting, timely and more. You can write pages about what occurred, use imagery, lovely phrases, action verbs, show rather than tell, and more. That's all quite important. But you need one more thing to make your personal essay worth a reader's time.

The golden nugget in a personal essay is illustrating a universal truth or what you, the writer, learned. Sometimes, it's spelled out perfectly. Other times, it is only inferred, but in such a way that your message is clear. 

What is a 'universal truth'? One definition is 'messages or codes of behavior that tell us what it means to be human'.

When you write a personal essay, you're saying "Here's what happened to me and what I learned." 

Today's quote is the perfect springboard for those who want to write a personal essay. Maybe you should hold onto what happened that hurt you long enough to write about it. Writing about your experience can do two things. It helps you understand and can be a step toward healing after a traumatic experience. You might also be of help to other people by relating your experience. 

The personal essay is a perfect way to find insight in ourselves and to offer that golden nugget to others. 

Writers--Take Your Time!

 One of the toughest lessons to learn when you first start writing is to take you time. You're eager. You're inspired. You're excited about this new adventure. Thats when you are in danger of hurrying through a writing project. That goes for experienced writers, too. 

You've written your first book and are ready to find an agent. Isn't that how it's done? Look at lists and choose a top dog. With one book under your belt, are you ready for the big time? The vast majority of new writers are not. 

Nellie Newbie hasn't got time to do writing exercises. She's on to bigger and better things. Those piddly exercises are a waste of time. Aren't they? 

Norbert Newbie doesn't want to write short stories. Nope. He is going to dive right in and write a novel. His buddy, Norman Newbie is bypassing the short stuff, too. He's going to write his memoir. People are going to love it, he says. 

Even experienced writers don't always take the amount of time on a writing project that will make it well-written and publishable. Some get inspired, hurry through, spend little time on revision and editing, then ship it off to an editor. They're miffed when it gets rejected. 

Let's look at these situations, one by one. 

YOUR FIRST BOOK:  It's exciting to have a book finished and be ready to find an agent to represent you and sell your book. For a lot of money, you hope. Most first novels are not outstanding. They're a learning experience for the writer. That's not to say they won't someday be published. It's better to start with small presses or an agent that is reputable but not in the top tier. Your odds are going to be better if you go that route. Authors who are household names didn't sell their first book through a top agent or publishing house on the first try. Perseverance comes in play here. You need to be willing to shop that book in many places.

WRITING EXERCISES: Nellie Newbie doesn't want to waste time doing writing exercises. She should give them a try as they can add to what she already knows about writing. She knows she can 'tell' a good story, but maybe a few writing exercises will help here learn to 'show' that story, which makes it more likely to be published. There are different kinds of exercises, and they all can help you to be a better writer. Even experienced writers can benefit from doing a warm-up exercise before they begin on the day's work.

WRITE SHORT STUFF FIRST: Most writers want to write a book, and they set out to do so on their first writing project. Instead, write short pieces first. Fiction, whether flash or longer, personal essays, critical essays, articles, short memoir and more. They're easier to get published, not a piece of cake, but easier than a first novel. Get several published in magazines, ezines, websites etc, and you have something to show an agent or book publisher. Some authors can expand a short story into a full-length novel. 

TAKE YOUR TIME: When inspiration hits, and you are eager to begin writing, you might want to go too fast. You could skip some vital steps. A newbie writer finishes a short piece and thinks it's ready to send out into the publishing world. They can't be bothered to let it sit for a while, or to edit and revise at least a couple times. Norbert and Norman Newbie need to slow down. If they don't, they're in for some disappointment. 

Today's poster highlights one of my key words for writers. Persistence. Along with that goes Determination and Patience. Things don't happen fast in the writing world. That's one of the first lessons we must learn. 

Missing Our Mothers

 

Mom at 19

Those whose mothers are still living will honor them on Sunday. But for those of us who have lost our mothers, the day is bittersweet. I wrote a story about missing my mother on that second Sunday in May a couple of years after she had passed away.. I sent it to Chicken Soup for the Soul and they liked it well enough to publish it in a book on moms. So, for those who have lost their mother, whether this year, or many years ago, here is the story. I hope it will give some ease to hurting hearts. 

Missing My Mother on Mother’s Day

(The title in the book was changed to With Us In Spirit. A better title, I think)

I stopped at a Hallmark shop the other day to buy Mother’s Day cards for my daughter and daughter-in-law. The aisle where the cards for this special day rested was a long one. There were Mother’s Day cards appropriate to send to everyone from your cleaning lady to your best friend. The colors were soft and spring-like, fitting for the month of May. I moved up and down the aisle looking for cards that worked for Karen and Amy, and suddenly without any warning, an ache started deep inside. It swelled and moved upward, hit my heart and pushed a tear from my eye.

The one card I really wanted to buy was one for my own mother, but she passed away more than two years ago. I could buy the card, write a special note, sign it with love, then seal and stamp it. But where would I send it? Heaven has no post office. A curtain of sadness dropped down and covered me like a shroud for a moment or two. My hand reached out to a card that I knew she’d love. It was lavender and purple, her favorite colors. I read the verse and smiled. This was the one I’d buy her if I could only send it to her. I slipped it back in the rack, picked it up and read it again, then replaced it.

I’m a mother and a grandmother of four, but I still miss my mom. I miss our long talks. She had little formal education, but she possessed a marvelous instinct and insight into human behavior. I learned so much listening to her observations. I miss the stories she told about her childhood in a coal mining town. She made me appreciate the differences in people’s lives. I miss the wonderful pies and cakes she made. I miss her terrific sense of humor and hearty laughter. I miss her hugs.

But as I look around my home, I see her in many places. I see her warm smile in photos carefully arranged in several different rooms. I see her every time I sift through my recipe box and finger the many cards with her handwriting, all so precious now.  I see her when I use my rolling pin, once hers, now mine. Whenever I use it, I’m reminded of the day she taught me how to put just the right pressure on a pie crust with the heavy wooden rolling pin. I see her when I show visitors to our guest room, for the bed is covered with a quilt she made by hand.

On Mother’s Day I will be with my daughter and her family at a Mother’s Day Brunch. To spend the day with a child I love and her husband and children will give me great pleasure. It wouldn’t surprise me if we sense another presence that day, for my mother will be with us in spirit, spreading her love once more.

© 2007                                        Mom at age 83

Editing Polishes Your Writing

 

I've often made the comment that the writing is easy while marketing your book is the tough part. Well, that was said with several grains of truth, but let it never be said that writing is easy. Anyone who has tried it will attest to that. I'm a person who likes to get a project done and then move on to the next one. I could do that when making a quilt or sewing a dress for a little daughter but not so with my writing projects. Those must be revisited many times before I can call them finished. Don't forget to let the project simmer a few days or more before you do the editing. That's key to the process.

Newer writers might wonder if editing their work means only checking for typos, punctuation, misspelled words and proper capitalization. While all those things should be looked at, there are others to be added to the list.

1. REPETITION:  This is bigger than you think. When I critique in my online writers group, one of the things that jump out in someone else's story is repeating words or ideas. If you use the same word in two consecutive sentences or, gasp, even three, you risk boring your reader. It may sound foolish but it's true. Same with ideas that are repeated even though you may use different words. Most readers will pick up on the fact that you're telling them the same thing twice. Writing book authors will tell you not to do it, they'll say you must respect your reader's intelligence.

2. SENTENCE LENGTH:  When you look at your first draft, pay attention to how long or short your sentences are. Too many lengthy ones make the reader wear out and maybe even give up reading. Alternate short sentences with long ones, and I don't mean exactly every other one. Do consider tossing in a short sentence between a couple of long ones. Occasionally, a writer will use several very short sentences together for emphasis, and that's fine. There are exceptions to every rule or method. Think about those many short sentences in early reading books. As an adult, they'd irritate you if all the sentences were only a few words each.

3. CLARITY: When I write a story, especially a memoir piece, I know exactly what the situation was, I know the backstory, I know the setting. Readers do not know these things so you must be certain you write in such a way that all those things are clear. As you journey through the editing process, ask yourself if things are as clear as they should be. This is one thing that having another person go through the manuscript is invaluable. Anything not clear will jump out at them immediately. A good case for editing on your own, then asking someone else to do another edit.

4. UNNECESSARY WORDS:  Once upon a time, I was dubbed the Queen of Unnecessary words. I awarded myself this honor (or dishonor) early in my writing world. In the first online critique group I belonged to, using too many unnecessary words was the item marked most by those who critted my work. The moderator of the group did not use the finesse others did when pointing it out. She acted like a mother who had been disobeyed and read me the riot act more than once. It was good for me as the importance of not using words like just, very, that is, why, who is, which was and others (depending on where they land in your sentence) appeared very clear. By getting rid of these redundant or superfluous words, your remaining sentence will be much stronger. We use a lot of those unnecessary words when we speak to one another, but in our writing we need to be more concise.

5. PASSIVE VERBS: Watch carefully for overuse of passive verbs--those that show no action--words like was, is, are. They're used by a lazy writer. Make it a habit to find active verbs, words that show us what someone is doing. Jump, run, batted, smashed, darted are words that bring the reader an instant mental picture. They are also far more interesting. I once pointed out in a critique that the writer had used a passive verb in every sentence in a lengthy paragraph. Boring! Practice using active verbs and it becomes a habit. You'll find that passive verbs are 'telling' while active verbs 'show'.

These are only some of the things to look for when you do an edit. Plot changes deserve another special editing process. Doing the ones I've listed will strengthen your writing, will make it more interesting to the reader, and make it more likely to be published.  

Writing is a step-by-step process. If anyone ever told you it happens easily, don't believe them. Capture the publishing prize by working through the process until you deem the work ready to market.

Book Review: Addressing Widowhood

Christina Hamlett has been a Guest Blogger here numerous times. An accomplished novelist, playwright, interviewer, former actress--the list goes on. Now, she has added one more description after her name. Widow! Ms. Hamlett lost her beloved husband of 25 years Easter Sunday of 2023. 

She learned a great deal in the months after her husband's death and has written a book to share her experiences, thoughts, and tips for other widows. The title is 'Everything I Know About Widowhood I Learned From Jessica Fletcher'.

Ms. Hamlett's husband's illness lasted only a few short months, but they had time to discuss many things that she would need to know once she was alone. Finances, burial or cremation, and more. A difficult task for many, but important.

This is not a typical, somber book about becoming a widow. Ms. Hamlett writes with warmth and humor while giving some excellent guidelines for married women who suddenly find themselves alone. 

The title of the book, of course, refers to the 'Murder She Wrote' series starring Angela Lansbury that ran for many years. The author admired Ms. Lansbury's character, Jessica Fletcher, and writes that there was much to learn about being a widow by watching the widowed sleuth in the popular series. 

One chapter gives a Must-Do Checklist which is important, but Ms. Hamlett also gives advice about what you should aim for as a widow. Things like living life to the fullest, finding a purpose in life (big or small), taking care of yourself, and embracing the things you love. She also cautions about things you should not do.

There is a lot of her personal story which readers will find of interest. Stories about her courtship and marriage, a humorous section on the man she dubbed 'The Cremation Guy', and possible new relationships. 

The final section of the book is a list of other books that might be helpful to widows. 

As a Help for Widows book, I'd give this one 5 stars. I also think it would be of interest to those women still married but who might possibly find themselves in the widow category someday. 

The book is an ebook as well as paperback. Look for it at your favorite bookseller or online.